Inspiration

Self Compassion

Self – compassion is giving yourself the same compassion and kindness that you would give a loved one. Charity begins at home, remember! A common stumbling block when thinking about self-compassion is the belief that it just means letting ourselves off the hook. When we say “it’s only human,” isn’t this just a way to blow off personal responsibility for our actions? But let’s look at this more closely. First of all, isn’t it strange that admitting the fact that we’re flawed human beings is perceived as not being honest with ourselves? Isn’t the honest truth that we are only human? 

Let’s look at three main elements of self compassion 

  1. Self -Kindness Vs. Self Judgement : When we as people treat ourselves with more respect and warmth, compared to self-criticism and unrealistic expectations, we can then have a greater understanding and sympathy for our own realities and emotions. 
  2. Common Humanity Vs. Isolation : Suffering is not specific to one individual. As part of the human condition, we are all flawed, mortal, and subject to harsh realities. Understanding and accepting that you aren’t alone in your suffering will help reduce feelings of isolation and bring you to terms with your life in a healthy way.
  3. Mindfulness Vs. Over Identification : Mindfulness requires the non-judgemental observation of oneself, exactly what is needed in order to avoid exaggerating negative emotions or suppressing them as well. An open and kind observation of negative emotions can be helped when you put your suffering into a larger human perspective, not undermining your own emotions but allowing yourself to be comforted by knowing you’re not alone. 

Self-compassion allows us to turn toward and face the difficult feelings that arise when considering our own mistakes and misdeeds, meaning that we can see ourselves more clearly and do what’s needed to make things better.

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32 replies »

    • That is my favourite line too. Imagine if our compassion could transcend our relationships and the attachment we have to them – pure sympathy, pure empathy and pure desire to help them heal. It is the ultimate characteristic of emotional intelligence. But all compassion starts with self-compassion. If you are not rooting for yourself in every moment, how can you root for others? If you can’t empathize with your own plight, then you are not connected to your own heart.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Beyond living life at the level of, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you,” compassion looks to heal others even in instances when you would not heal yourself. There are many people we like, even love, yet the depth of our compassion for them is shallow. Perhaps fear, jealousy, resentment, guilt, or anger color our perspective and each of these emotions carry with it a certain attachment that prevents true compassion.

      Liked by 2 people

    • People feel compassion for themselves because all human beings deserve compassion and understanding, not because they possess some particular set of traits (pretty, smart, talented, and so on). This means that with self-compassion, you don’t have to feel better than others to feel good about yourself. Self-compassion also allows for greater self-clarity, because personal failings can be acknowledged with kindness and do not need to be hidden. Moreover, self-compassion isn’t dependent on external circumstances, it’s always available – especially when you fall flat on your face! Research indicates that in comparison to self-esteem, self-compassion is associated with greater emotional resilience, more accurate self-concepts, more caring relationship behavior, as well as less narcissism and reactive anger.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Having self-compassion means being able to recognize the difference between making a bad decision and being a bad person. When you have self-compassion, you understand that your worth is unconditional. Isn’t that wonderful. I am glad you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hi Garima,

    Jesus knew people. Love your neighbor as yourself. There is a balance between self love and selfless love, compassion and concern for others. Thank God for grace to find that sweet spot. Life is the learning place.

    Thanks,

    Gary

    On Thu, Mar 21, 2019 at 10:46 PM Be Inspired..!! wrote:

    > empress2inspire posted: “Self – compassion is giving yourself the same > compassion and kindness that you would give a loved one. Charity begins at > home, remember! A common stumbling block when thinking about > self-compassion is the belief that it just means letting ourselves off th” >

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My heart sang while reading this. We have so much understanding, love, support and compassion for those we love, but we should also love ourselves and therefore offer support, compassion and understanding to ourselves. It’s a valuable lesson.

    Like

    • It’s okay. Don’t be to hard on yourself. Practicing self compassion is always a work in progress. Self-compassion involves treating yourself the way you would treat a friend who is having a hard time—even if your friend blew it or is feeling inadequate, or is just facing a tough life challenge. The more complete definition involves three core elements that we bring to bear when we are in pain: self-kindness, common humanity (the recognition that everyone make mistakes and feels pain), and mindfulness.

      Like

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