We all care about how others view us—sometimes too much. It used to be one of the only things that mattered to me, but I have been able to break this habit. I have been able to feel confident no matter how people treat me. I have been able to stop giving a damn about what people who don’t like me think.
This is how I did it:
- Don’t Get Hijacked – Whenever, you’re challenged, be prepared for the voice of self-doubt in your head, it will try to stop you doing what you know you should. Be ready and in a stronger position to stop it. Be super-aware the next time you sense self-doubt creeping in, and then literally exclude the voice. Do not allow it say in a matter. Block out the “what if’s”.
- Don’t Wait to be Asked – People who doubt themselves wait for an invitation to speak. If you have something to say, say it. Don’t overthink it. You have as much right to speak as anyone. Remind yourself that people will respect you more for sharing your thoughts. Don’t allow someone to speak up with an idea that you had but didn’t have the confidence to deliver.
- Know How You Look – If you make use of your voice, facial expressions and hands it will make a huge difference to how you come across to people. You can project confidence by making some small adjustments. Being able to control how you look and sound will boost your confidence and encourage you to speak up. So do your best to look the part.
- Worst Case Scenario – Think to yourself – “what’s the worst that can happen?” If you doubt yourself, your default position will be to expect the worst. Counteract this by thinking of the last time something catastrophic happened because of something you did or said. it’s unlikely you’ll recall such a catastrophe, more often than not, your imagination is fooling you.
- Learn from Failure – Learn from failure you’ve had and then set them aside. Bad memories are often the reason why you stop yourself doing things. You can’t expel these experiences from your mind completely but with disciplined thinking, you should be able to put them to the back of your mind so that they don’t interfere with your decision making.
When I don’t agree with someone or when someone doesn’t agree with me, it doesn’t make them wrong or bad: it makes them who they are. It doesn’t make me crazy or a moron: it makes me who I am. As much as I’d like to find a connection with everyone, it isn’t realistic. Ultimately, the only person’s expectations I must meet are mine.