Eradicate Self Doubt

We all care about how others view us—sometimes too much. It used to be one of the only things that mattered to me, but I have been able to break this habit. I have been able to feel confident no matter how people treat me. I have been able to stop giving a damn about what people who don’t like me think.

This is how I did it:

  1. Don’t Get Hijacked – Whenever, you’re challenged, be prepared for the voice of self-doubt in your head, it will try to stop you doing what you know you should. Be ready and in a stronger position to stop it. Be super-aware the next time you sense self-doubt creeping in, and then literally exclude the voice. Do not allow it say in a matter. Block out the “what if’s”.
  2. Don’t Wait to be Asked – People who doubt themselves wait for an invitation to speak. If you have something to say, say it. Don’t overthink it. You have as much right to speak as anyone. Remind yourself that people will respect you more for sharing your thoughts. Don’t allow someone to speak up with an idea that you had but didn’t have the confidence to deliver. 
  3. Know How You Look – If you make use of your voice, facial expressions and hands it will make a huge difference to how you come across to people. You can project confidence by making some small adjustments. Being able to control how you look and sound will boost your confidence and encourage you to speak up. So do your best to look the part. 
  4. Worst Case Scenario – Think to yourself – “what’s the worst that can happen?” If you doubt yourself, your default position will be to expect the worst. Counteract this by thinking of the last time something catastrophic happened because of something you did or said. it’s unlikely you’ll recall such a catastrophe, more often than not, your imagination is fooling you.
  5. Learn from Failure – Learn from failure you’ve had and then set them aside. Bad memories are often the reason why you stop yourself doing things. You can’t expel these experiences from your mind completely but with disciplined thinking, you should be able to put them to the back of your mind so that they don’t interfere with your decision making. 

When I don’t agree with someone or when someone doesn’t agree with me, it doesn’t make them wrong or bad: it makes them who they are. It doesn’t make me crazy or a moron: it makes me who I am. As much as I’d like to find a connection with everyone, it isn’t realistic. Ultimately, the only person’s expectations I must meet are mine.

17 Comments Add yours

  1. “Ultimately, the only person’s expectations I must meet are mine.” SO true! This is a lesson I hope to teach my children as they grow. I truly believe this attitude will promote peace in the future 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Star Wars fans should recall the following exchange between Yoda and Luke in The Empire Strikes Back. When Luke fails to raise his X-Wing out of the swamp, Yoda steps in and raises it with relative ease. Luke, says, “I don’t believe it,” to which Yoda replies, “This is why you fail.” It’s one of my favorite exchanges in the entire series — not only because I’m a Star Wars nerd, but also because of how insightful Yoda’s words are. (Ok, and I also like it because it establishes that Luke was always a whiny brat, and not just in The Last Jedi.)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, “don’t wait to be asked” is life-changing for me! Without realizing it, I have been “waiting to be asked” for my entire adult life!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad this came to you at the right moment Hannah.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. The best advice I ever received was to say in my head, to the voices of self doubt and criticism, “Yeah well, you’re entitled to your opinion.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When your mind can’t stop racing and the voice of doubt inside won’t stop talking, one of the most important things you can do is stop and become still. Observe the voice with a focused and heightened awareness. Push closer in and witness what’s unfolding inside without applying a label or a feeling to it. Just sit with your thoughts and take inventory of what they’re saying. Don’t stop to listen to the point where you get caught up and start to believe them. Just make a note and remain curious but cautiously distant—like watching passers-by on the street while you quietly sip your tea in a café, trying to remain discreet and under-the-radar.


  4. artofthebeat says:

    If my younger self could have been wiser and learned this earlier. Love this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you.! I am glad you liked it. Whenever I’m struggling with self-doubt, I always try to find another way to look at my given situation. And that means playing Devil’s Advocate and reframing what the voice of doubt is telling you inside your head. Because once you realize that the voice of doubt is invalid, you’ll actively work to replace the limiting belief with a more positive and affirming one.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. artofthebeat says:

        You are so wise! Great advice. I am just learning these things at my tender age of 49 🙂 I just need to retrain the voice to sing better songs in my head.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Michelle says:

    I always have to remind myself to talk to myself as I would talk to a best friend….after all we should all be our own best friend….but then self doubt creeps in and we can become our own worst critic. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If you look to the past and see how well things have gone many times despite those self-doubts then it become easier to let go of them or to ignore them and to focus on the more likely positive outcome and to take action.


  6. Love this post! It’s the perfect advice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Kristina. Glad you liked it. Psychological studies prove that this process can be good for one’s self-esteem: Typically, when people project a favorable “self” to the world they come to believe that “self” is who they actually are.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I absolutely agree with that. And the people around that person see him/her as what he/she believes.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Luci Russo says:

    Excellent post 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Glad you liked it.


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