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Things Which Make Life Harder

This is something us humans love to do. We love to make things harder than they actually are, for any number of pseudo-psychological reasons, and it can be a very difficulty habit to break out of. It is hard to break because the symptoms are not always obvious.There are dozens of little actions that we do every day that purposefully make our lives more difficult and often they are so small, or so ingrained in us, that we don’t even notice them. Of course this means that we just assume things are hard and we have to deal with it, when the reality is much different. The reality is that things are generally simple and we choose to make them harder.

Here is a list of things which we fight for that makes our life harder

  1. Love – Some of us are lucky enough to meet people that we’re really compatible with and who make us happy. Unfortunately, some of us aren’t able to let ourselves love those people, and we instead push them away. We’re afraid to commit ourselves to that one person, or we’re afraid that they’ll reject us. We come up with a long list of reasons to fight the natural inclination to love and be loved.
  2. Making New Friends – This is similar to the first; we come up with a long list of reasons of why we should avoid the situation. maybe they’re co-workers, they’re artsy, you’re too old for new friends, they don’t actually like you, she eats at Taco bell, he wears expensive shoes, all belying the fact that we enjoy their company and we feel better around them.
  3. Waking Up – The alarm clock goes off. We slap the snooze button. It goes off again. We slap the snooze button. Rinse and Repeat, until we’re just on time to be running really behind. Most of us know, as we’re assaulting our electronic timepieces, that we’ll be happier if we get up, but we will use the alarm clock as a dummy to practice our whack-a-mole. And we spend the rest of the day running behind.
  4. Working – Ever dread going to work only to figure out that once you’re there, it’s not as bad as you made it in your head? Life would be a whole lot easier if we just sat down and did our daily tasks. If you’re a writer, write. If you’re a musician, play. If you’re a songwriter, write songs. If you’re a coder, code. If you’re a blogger, blog. It’s that simple.
  5. Creativity – Somewhere between puberty and adulthood we “forgot” how to be creative. We became pragmatic and start to think that all of our ideas have to produce something. We fear that our ideas will be stupid. We worry what others will think about our ideas. Again, we come up with a whole list of ways to stifle ourselves and deny part of our nature. The irony is that we fight being creative only to complain about not being creative.
  6. Anger – Oftentimes the energy that we spend staying angry with people is wasted. Sometimes we have legitimate reasons to stay angry with people, but most of the time we fight letting it go, even though we’d be happier by doing so.
  7. Family – Fighting with family gets you nowhere and makes life harder. I’m not talking about kids fighting over TV; rather adults that continually spat with their sibs and parents. The bottomline : you’re either going to spend time with them or you’re not. If you decide you’re going to spend time with them, then, at a certain point, it’s best just to let it go. If you’re not going to spend time with them, then it’s best not to argue with them about it, since there’s really not point. 

 

Life does not have to be difficult or a struggle. Much of it depends on you. Are you ready to take control?

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14 replies »

    • Try to think in pictures. Many people assume Einstein was a logical, left-brain thinker, but he was actually the opposite. Rather than using mathematics or language to crack a tough problem, he preferred to think in pictures and spatial relationships. He recognized that visual thinking can strip a problem down to its essence, leading to profoundly simple conclusions that ordinary language might not be able to reach.

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  1. I totally agree. Over the years, as I have grown, I’ve seen many ways that I have gotten in my own way. As humans, we do complicate everything. I’m learning how to just “be” and allow things to easily flow. Mediation helps when I start to create drama in my own mind. At least, I am able to be mindful of the fact that I am complicating things. This allows me to stop and regroup.

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    • To accept uncertainty in our lives requires a change in perspective. We yield to the intrinsic forces of life instead of oppose them. However uncomfortable it may seem, we surrender to the natural order of events by leaning in to our fears and insecurities.
      You reason with your anxieties by perceiving them with a logical mind instead of becoming embroiled in them. Otherwise, we risk activating our fight or flight nervous system every time, which senses we are in imminent danger instead of being uncomfortable.
      Remain present in your body when anxiety threatens your emotional wellbeing. Choose a proper time to examine the motivation for your anxiety.

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    • Research shows overthinkers believe they’re helping themselves by rehashing their problems in their heads. But studies show analysis paralysis is real. Overanalysing everything interferes with problem-solving. It will cause you to dwell on the problem rather than look for solutions. Even simple decisions, like choosing what to wear to an interview or deciding where to go on vacation, can feel like a life-or-death decision when you’re an overthinker. Ironically, all that thinking won’t help you make a better choice.

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