Emotional Intelligence is not about being nice to people. It is defined as the ability to validly reason with emotions. It is neither good or bad. Martin Luther King Jr. used emotional intelligence to give spellbinding speeches so did Adolph Hitler.
Emotional Intelligence is important, but the unbridled enthusiasm has obscured a dark side. New evidence shows that when people hone their emotional skills, they come better at manipulating others. When you’re good at controlling your own emotions, you can disguise your true feelings. When you know what others are feeling, you can tug at their heartstrings and motivate them to act against their own best interests.
According to John Mater, one of the coiners of emotional intelligence, there are four factors. Psych writer Kendra Cherry explains :
- Perceiving Emotion : The bedrock of emotional intelligence is the ability to receive and express emotions in the face or voice of yourself or another.
- Using Emotions To Help You Think : Emotions help you pay attention to what matters most. They’re a shortcut for prioritisation when something connects with you emotionally, it immediately draws your attention. That’s why “viral” videos are often so laden with emotion.
- Understanding Emotions : You have to be able to interpret emotions to find the meaning behind them. If your boos in angry, it’s a matter of emotional intelligence to read whether she’s upset about the quality of your work, a fight with a spouse, or from getting a speeding ticket on the way to the office.
- Managing Emotions : This is where you learn to work with emotions. If you’re uncomfortable in a situation, you learn to withdraw. If a friend is angry, you know how to calm him.
Personal Outcomes. Psychologists Dana Joseph of the University of Central Florida and Daniel Newman of the University of Illinois analysed every study done on emotions, for a total of thousands of employees and 191 different jobs. The benefits of emotional intelligence depends on the gig. The people with the following jobs do better with high EQ > Salespeople, Real Estate Agents, Call Centre Representatives and Counsellors. People with the following jobs do not do well with high emotional intelligence > Mechanics, Scientists and Accountants.
Emotional Intelligence also helps in personal development :
- Psych research suggests that emotional intelligence can be coached.
- Emotional Intelligence improves as you get older.
- Getting feedback can help you increase your emotional intelligence.
- Reading literature helps emotional intelligence since getting into characters mids helps train you in empathy.