Lack of Self Esteem

In reality, low self-esteem affects more people than you think. Low self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself overall. Comparing, gossiping about others, putting others first, even excessive Facebooking are all signs of low-self esteem. You may say you do these things to stay connected or because “I want to”. The truth is when one is content with themselves, they have healthy self-esteem; external validation is simply an additive, not a necessity to their lives. A person with healthy self-esteem spends the bulk of their time doing things that promote positivity within themselves and exude this in life.

Here are some typical habits which show low self esteem :

  • Saying “yes” to everything.
  • Negative self-talk or self-criticism.
  • Back down when opinions are challenged by others.
  • Being indecisive with simple decisions.
  • Fearing failure.
  • Taking constructive criticism personally.
  • Sweating the small stuff.
  • Afraid to share your opinions in a conversation.
  • Giving up too easily.
  • Comparing yourself negatively to others.
  • Slouching.
  • Fidgeting.
  • Claiming your successes are just luck.
  • Buying things because others like them, not because you like them.
  • Social withdrawal.
  • Excessive preoccupation with personal problems.
  • Letting fear stop you from trying new things.

These are only a few characteristics of low self-esteem. If you can identify the characteristics of low self-esteem, the next step is to change the way you think about yourself and how you handle things in your life. Read my post on How to Build Self Esteem. This will lead to more positive self-talk and experiences that can radically boost your self esteem into a positive and beautiful place.


16 Comments Add yours

  1. zalstin says:

    “A person with healthy self-esteem spends the bulk of their time doing things that promote positivity within themselves and exude this in life.”

    I really like that you made this connection between self-esteem and behaviour/activities that foster well-being. It’s a virtuous circle where self-esteem inspires positive behaviours and positive behaviours enhance self-esteem.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. I agree with you. Self esteem and Self-confidence is not some sort of gift that you are born with. For many people, self-confidence may appear to have come naturally to them but it is more likely that they had confident role models in their life, from whom they learned the appropriate confidence building behaviours.

      Liked by 2 people

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  3. Deepender says:

    This list of low self-esteem habits is an excellent reality check!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad you liked it. Whether you believe you can or you cannot; you are right’ Ford’s statement is every bit as true now as it was then. Growth and development require that you take steps into the unknown. When you step into the unknown, you cannot be certain that you will succeed. However, you can believe in your ability to learn, to cope with the difficulties and, to overcome the challenges that you may face along the way. It is your self-esteem that determines how much you believe in yourself. With high self-esteem, you will have an unshakeable belief in yourself and you will be more likely to persevere under pressure. With low self-esteem, you will have major doubts in your abilities and you will be more likely to wilt at the first sign of pressure.


    1. Thank you. Glad you liked it. Self-esteem is a state of mind, and it can be changed. However, you can only improve your self-esteem if you’re first willing to challenge the negative feelings and judgments you have toward yourself. No matter how convinced you are of your current evaluation of yourself, you have nothing to lose and the world to gain by considering that you have much more control over your self-esteem than you think. Making the choice to challenge your thinking may change how you think and what you do, now and in the future.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow! This post was a big reality check. Although I do not post on Facebook often; I still go on there and get caught up.
    Most of the list is spot on for me like…
    Saying “yes” to everything. (I have a hard time saying no when people ask me to do stuff)
    Negative self-talk or self-criticism. ( I am always hard on myself and I do not speak positivity to myself. I tend to think that being critical helps with motivation)
    Being indecisive with simple decisions. (I am that way with EVERYTHING!!!)
    Fearing failure. (I am feeling this a little more now that I am in my Doctoral program)
    Taking constructive criticism personally. (I take everything personally. However, I am trying to work on that)
    Sweating the small stuff. (Yes, because I want everything perfect)
    Fidgeting. (I am always doing something with my hands)
    Social withdrawal. (I like to be alone a lot)
    Thank you so much for writing this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree with your staying alone point. Your life is always moving at a crazy fast pace. So fast in fact, that it’s probably rare when you have a moment alone to sit and reflect on your life.
      Being alone gives you the perfect opportunity for a little self reflection. Since you aren’t spending so much time processing the thoughts and feelings of others, it’s the best time to turn your focus inwards.
      Solitude provides the perfect environment for reflection.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. gpavants says:

    Hi Garima,

    There are elements I still struggle with. The world does want to keep us broken down and compliant.




  6. Guilty as charged on too many counts. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes, we are all guilty in some way or the other 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. thesupermode says:

    I’ve dealt with low self esteem issues a lot in the past. I could relate to each and every characteristic pointed by you. I’m so glad I worked on it and became a much better version of myself now. It’s an on going process though and I’m learning everyday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Some of the many causes of low self-esteem may include: Unhappy childhood where parents (or other significant people such as teachers) were extremely critical. Poor academic performance in school resulting in a lack of confidence. Ongoing stressful life event such as relationship breakdown or financial trouble. But I am glad you are overcoming it everyday. Way to Go!!


  8. Thank you for including the significance of body language on our self-esteem.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Body language makes you interesting, but it can also boost your confidence! Here’s why looking poised and professional can improve your self-image. Body language not only affects how people perceive you. It has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself!


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