The Failure Myth

I’m going to fail. Why am I even trying. Do you I really need more reasons to embarrass myself? etc etc etc……

I don’t know if you have been in such a situation before where you give up even before you have tried, but I have been. We hear motivational anecdotes of people failing their way to success and we come to believe that we, too, can emerge from the same challenges unscathed. While these stories can be very uplifting and inspiring when taken lightly, they beg a larger question: Are we beginning to embrace failure to the point of danger? Do such isolated stories and events, especially when taken in bite-size chunks, trivialize risk-taking and the true impact of repetitive failure? My answer is a resounding “yes.”

Here are few ways which can help you from getting over the “I’am gonna fail” mentality to “Let me try this and see what happens” one.

  • Failure is Normal – So how do you find this positive mentality? If you’ve had some interview failures recently or maybe a heart break, you can’t dwell and let them affect your self-esteem. Remember, if you haven’t ever experienced failing at something, you’d be very unusual. the vast majority of people fail before they succeed. So remind yourself that failing is normal.
  • Look Forward Not Back – So how do you stop failure affecting your self confidence? Simply by learning all you can from what happened. If you treat failures as an opportunity to learn, they become worthwhile beneficial events, not nightmare memories that hold you back. When you approach failure positively like this, you’ll find it easier to stop criticizing yourself. You’re human, just like the rest of us; we all fail at things every now and then. So the drill from now on is to force yourself to look forward not back.
  • Break the Habit – Try seeing positive thinking as a state of mind. See it as a mental attitude that steers you towards expecting to succeed, not fail. If you struggle to approach challenges positively, try to see negativity as an actual habit you need to break. Breaking a habit requires real determination, particularly if it means challenging your thought processes. In fact experts say it takes 21 days to break a habit completely.

taking failure seriously and building cushions of support that can absorb the harshest of downfalls is the surest way to success. There is no need to romanticize mistakes, learning from them only after the fact. Instead, we should learn how to best avoid failure and in the worst-case scenarios, be prepared to bounce back from it.

20 Comments Add yours

  1. One of my favorite quotes is “Never a failure, always a lesson”. But I am guilty of not doing something because I am afraid to fail or embarrass myself. It’s hard for me to let myself make mistakes. But I am working on changing that!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Whether you realize or not, the fact is that every single day is a challenge. Only most of the days, the challenges are rather easy and surmountable thus you do not notice or even if you notice, you don’t complain.

      In fact, we do need challenges to stay active, smart and in shape. The proper response to challenges should be to turn them around and go through them. Every successful person has done and so can you. This is of prime importance if you are heading a team or a department or an organisation. Not only does that ensure that you are pushing yourself in the right direction, but it also motivates others around you. In your daily lives, at work or at home, there are plenty of times when you have to successfully and boldly lead from the front. Under such conditions, it is not easy to Give Up!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ashokwahi says:

    Good one 👏
    My Guru Paramhansa Yogananda says : The only time you ever fail is when you refuse to get up 😇
    Yup looking forward and not back 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Whatever you think, you will give strength to than emotion from within.

      If you think, “I can’t handle it any longer,” will cause you to exaggerate your inability to deal with it. The stress of the work or the process will become intolerable and full of stress. As a consequence, you may waste your time and energy dreading going to work and spend your evenings complaining about your difficulty level.

      Unfortunately, you’ll inadvertently increase your stress and reinforce to yourself that you’re just not strong enough to accomplish your goals. As a result, you’ll most likely quit—not because you really wanted to, but because you convinced yourself you weren’t strong enough to handle the job.

      Now that you know the self defeating process, you have to exactly the opposite. Convince yourself that you have all the strength to do whatever you want. Actually you are stronger than you think. 1 or 2 or even a few failures should not deter you from achieving your goals. We are all stronger than we think we are, and each one of us can achieve amazing goals. Would you still like to give up on your dreams ?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ashokwahi says:

        Our thoughts create our reality. Happiness is a decision 😊

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Yes it is, one we should make everyday.


  3. T.S. Sky says:

    Nicely written.


  4. Thank you for writing these things it really make me motivated.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad I could help Aashutosh.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Noah. Failure is only a mindset and so is Success.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes indeed. We should believe that every life experience is only helping us to become a version of ourselves which has a purpose ahead.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. gpavants says:

    Hi Garima,

    Like our pastor said if we are failing it means tat at least we are trying and haven’t given up. I am trying to catch up on your posts so I can set them up for next year. If you get some quick responses or just likes today it because I am trying to catch up.

    Thank you,


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Gary. I am grateful for your support and kindness.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. gpavants says:

        Of course. That is what friends do.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you again 🙏🏼.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Great post. As Will Smith says: “Failure is a massive part of being able to be successful.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly. We need to make peace with failure. We are here to experience all sort of situations and circumstances. It’s all a part of a big plan for our soul.

      Liked by 1 person

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