Conventional wisdom says that assertive people get ahead. They tell people what they think, request the resources they need, ask for raises, and don’t take no for an answer. So what are non-assertive people supposed to do if their company’s culture rewards these actions? If you’re shy or reserved, don’t fret. You can ask for what you need and get what you want, while still being yourself.
Here are certain rules of assertiveness that you can use to conquer anything you want without appearing aggressive or desperate :
- Eyes – Your eyes are the most expressive part of your face. You should use them as much as possible. They have the ability to convey emotions such as interest, concern, warmth and credibility. Imagine talking to someone wearing sunglasses. It’s much harder to read their feelings, when you can’t see their eyes.
- Hands – Let your hands do what comes naturally. The trick is to try to relax. The natural action is for your hands to move as you talk. This is why really confident and assertive people often look relaxed – their hands move naturally and in a coordinated way with their voice.
- Smile – By smiling you also exude warmth and positivity. Be conscious of this when you meet people for the first time. It’s worth making an effort to smile. You’ll find that people will “warm” to you more quickly. They’re more likely to want to talk to you and listen to what you have to say.
- Expression – Using your face to its maximum advantage is an essential part of being assertive. It helps to make you look and feel more confident. Use your face to give non-verbal cues. Using your facial expressions effectively also helps you to clarify your message and communicate your emotion.
- Voice – Try to make a conscious effort to modulate your tone. varying your tone keeps your voice engaging. It should help you to sound more enthusiastic too. Enthusiasm is contagious. If you sound enthusiastic, there’s much more chance other people will listen. They will feel enthusiastic about you.
- Silence – It sounds odd to say but using silences in your speech can actually help you to come across more assertively; if people are expecting you to sat seem comfortable with the silence, you’ll look more confident and in control.
- Practice – Being assertive means practicing whenever you get the chance. Don’t just wait for opportunities to come along. Actively seek out chances to try out the assertiveness skills I’ve introduced you to. You can’t become more assertive by sitting back and hoping for the best.
Be careful that in your quest, you don’t become a bully or a nuisance. The costs of being overly assertive are not immediately apparent to us. Be sure your efforts to push more are well intended.
Categories: Personal Development