Mental Health

Difficult Emotions

One of the biggest challenges to working with difficult emotions like anxiety and anger is to accept them in the first place. It’s hard to do. We don’t want to accept them, because they don’t feel good. There are also lots of messages out there that seem to tell us that we should just be happy all of the time, and there is something wrong with us if we aren’t.

The problem is that if we get caught up in being ashamed of our emotions or running from them, we never build up the compassionate courage to work with them. This working starts with accepting our emotions as they are, non judgmentally like allowing ourselves to simply notice what is on the plate before deciding whether or not we’re going to eat it.

Here are few steps which you can use to manage your difficult emotions :

  • Turn towards your emotions with acceptance – Become aware of the emotions and identify where you sense it in your body.
  • Identify and label the emotions – To stay mindful, say to yourself “This is anger” or “This is anxiety”.
  • Accept Your Emotions – Don’t deny the emotions. Acknowledge and accept that it is there.
  • Realize the Impermanence of your Emotions – Even if the emotions feels overwhelming, remember that it will pass.
  • Inquire and Investigate – Ask yourself, “What triggered me? Why do I feel this way?”
  • Let Go of the Need to Control Your Emotions – Be open to the outcome of your emotions and what unfolds.

More than anything, approach this all as an experiment without expectations. It’s the expectations about how things “should” be that crash down on your present moment experience not allowing for a fresh experience. Be kind to yourself through this process, being human can be a struggle at times and an understanding of this can bring compassion, which enables resilience.

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Categories: Mental Health, Personal Development

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48 replies »

  1. Yup. Nothing wrong with having emotions- being aware is the only way out.
    In Geeta, Lord Krishna says that ANGER is our worst enemy so to say. Being angry makes us lose discrimination and we perish 😌

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Can I ask a few questions?

    When did you start blogging?
    How do get so much traffic?
    Are you using a paid plan?
    Are you getting so much traffic since the beginning of the blog?
    What is the best time to post a blog according to Indian Standard Time (IST)?
    Is there any specific time a blog must be posted to get maximum traffic?

    I started a blog https://believestrong.wordpress.com in February. It has been 4 months and I have written 40+ blog but I am not getting any traffic on my blog. What’s the reason? Yes, I have no such vocab like you or any other blogger has. Maybe I don’t write well. Maybe I write too short but it is because I don’t want to include unnecessary things to make it longer & want to specific about topic. Can you give me some tips to get traffic or reach more people?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Garima,

    I feel I am learning this finally instead of stuffing, denying, or ignoring. Thank the Lord for reminding me the value of being emotionally healthy, right? We need to experience all the emotional “flavors”: sweet, salty, sour, bitter, spicy.

    Thank you,

    Gary

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. I am glad you liked it. Difficult emotions are inevitable. Yet so many of us aren’t used to feeling them. We do other things — like distract ourselves with Facebook, snap at our spouse, paint a smile on our faces — and these other things don’t make the pain go away. Which is why it’s vital to have a collection of healthy coping strategies we can turn to. Strategies that help us to process our pain, strategies that genuinely soothe and comfort. Hence I wrote this article to help all of us deal with difficult emotions. Thank you.

      Like

  4. Thank you for responding to my poem, “Martin’s Dream”. After writing it, I began to realize that maybe most of my life has been a kind of ‘sleepwalking’
    and denial; not really paying attention to my attitudes, thoughts, emotions or why I have them! How does one become what many call “emotionally mature”. Some of us grow very old without ever really reaching that stage, right?

    Liked by 1 person

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