Adult Bullying

Bullying is any type of intimidating behaviour that leaves another person fearful, such as the threat of physical violence. It can also be a veiled threat of job loss or another negative consequence. Blocking someone from obtaining something important to them, or making them believe they’ll lose something that means a lot to them, are also forms of bullying.

So how would you know that you are being bullied? Here are few subtle signs that you should look out for :

  • Someone constantly demeans you or says snide remarks about you.
  • Someone is constantly yelling at your or criticising you.
  • Someone deliberately isolated you in social or work situations.
  • Someone is constantly making helpful “suggestions” and laying guilt trips if you don’t take them.

Bullies engage in persistently aggressive and/or unreasonable behaviour against a person. That means you’re singled out and the person is being more than just annoying or rude. Bullies are intentionally trying to harm you and your ability to do you work.

If someone’s sniping is a minor annoyance, let it be. If, however, you’re losing sleep, you hate going to work, or you’re feeling depressed or unworthy because of the way someone’s treating you, then you need to do something.

  • Write it down. Document everything.
  • Seek help if necessary. If you’re being bullied at work, talk to an HR representative.
  • If you confront the bully, be assertive, not aggressive. Talk facts, not feelings. This is where the documentation comes in.
  • If you’re a bystander, step in.
  • Get out of the situation. Adults have the benefit of removing themselves from the situation.

Reference : https://psychopathresistance.wordpress.com/2015/02/26/what-is-bullying/

16 Comments Add yours

  1. gifted50 says:

    I love that you wrote about this very real problem that seems so much more noticeable because we are in a position to see it clearer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      You are most welcome. Nepotism and Bullying are common is very industry or area of work. It is important to build awareness and resilience against these issues.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. inspirechief says:

    Great advice. Two key points you made were:
    Document everything. Dates, times, etc.
    If you are a bystander, step in. There is power in numbers.
    This is a topic that is not talked about much.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes documentation is very important but also to let the emotions out of the documentation. State facts not how one felt.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. gpavants says:

    Garima,

    It’s very sad to see this happen. Maybe this a sign of folks who fight maturity. Part of growing up is letting go of childish things.

    Thanks,

    Gary

    On Tue, Jun 30, 2020 at 11:35 AM Be Inspired..!! wrote:

    > GS posted: ” Bullying is any type of intimidating behaviour that leaves > another person fearful, such as the threat of physical violence. It can > also be a veiled threat of job loss or another negative consequence. > Blocking someone from obtaining something important to” >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Ah could be Gary. Didn’t thought of it this way. I am so grateful for your fresh perspectives always. Bullying stems more from a place of insecurity and low self confidence which could be due to childhood traumas.

      Like

  4. I read this, and I automatically thought of my antagonist in “Tale of the Cattail Forest”.

    Sarge, Marge’s older cousin, is a bully. Marge is his easiest target- he does not just mistreat her, but the fairy frogs and toads as well. Sarge is the why he is due to a tragic, heartbreaking, and abusive childhood: his father was extremely unloving and abusive. Sarge is conflicted, confused, jealous, and has a lot of emotional and physical scars. He actually is more lonely than what he believes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Ah the writer speaks. Thank you for this snippet.

      Like

      1. Sarge is 17 years old while Marge is 12. These two cousins have quite a complex relationship. Here is more on their relationship:

        Liked by 1 person

  5. AP2 says:

    Great advice. I think its useful for anyone being bullied to understand that their judgement of others often comes from their own deep-seated insecurities. They are sufferers of a fixed mindset. In understanding their basic psychology you can stop taking what they have to say personally. I’ve found this a powerful way to look through them. My 2 cents worth! Thanks for the advice

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes It’s about them. People who bully do it because they believe it makes them feel better. Somehow, they have got it into their head that by making others feel bad, they can feel better themselves. Basically, it’s a reflection of their insecurities, not your shortcomings. Perhaps they are threatened by you and want to make you feel more insecure. Other times they are afraid of the kind of change you’re causing, and they try to stop it by taking you down. Whatever the scenario, bullying is never the right way to resolve it, and it’s never justifiable. Mature adult conversations, on the other hand, are.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. AP2 says:

        Couldn’t agree more or put it better myself. Thanks for taking the time to reply!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        Most welcome. Glad you agree. Thank you for stopping by again.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. clcouch123 says:

    We tend to think adult bullying is due or it’s something else. Thank you for defining the reality of this problem, as a problem. The recommendations are sound, certainly. I’ve learned to slough off a lot, but I’ve also learned to get out of situations and even relationships that turn out to have nothing but negative qualities. Or at least the negative has overwhelmed the rest.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Deciding on how to react depends a lot on the frequency and severity of the bullying behavior. If the behavior is not excessive or harmful and you only see the bully on occasion at work, or the obnoxious relative once a year at family reunions. I suggests keeping your distance. As soon as you’re done with the task at hand, disengage and stay out of that person’s line of sight. We’re always looking to right wrongs in every single situation. But it does take time and effort to handle bullying behavior in many cases. So, if it’s not directly harmful, if it’s infrequent, consider picking your battles. Engage, then disengage.

      Like

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