Are You Falling Too Deep? Signs of Limerence and How to Find Your Way Back

Are You Falling Too Deep? Signs of Limerence and How to Find Your Way Back

Love is a beautiful emotion that can make us feel alive and excited. However, sometimes our feelings can become overwhelming and take a darker turn, leading us into a state of limerence. Limerence is an intense infatuation or obsession with someone, often characterized by intrusive thoughts and fantasies. It can consume our minds and cloud…

August 23, 2023

3–4 minutes

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In this post, we will explore four signs that indicate you might be getting lost in limerence, along with actionable steps to help you regain control.

Obsessive Thinking and Intrusive Thoughts:

One of the first signs of limerence is constantly thinking about the person you’re infatuated with. Their image dominates your mind, and you find it difficult to focus on anything else. Real-life scenario: Sarah finds herself daydreaming about James, her colleague, during work hours. She can’t help but obsess over every little interaction they have.

Actionable Step: Start by recognizing that obsessive thoughts are taking over your life. Take a step back and redirect your focus towards other aspects of your life. Engage in activities that bring you joy and spend time with friends and family. Distracting yourself from these thoughts will help you regain control and create a healthier mindset.

Idealization and Ignoring Red Flags:

In limerence, we tend to idealize the person we’re infatuated with, seeing them as flawless and perfect. Real-life scenario: Mark believes that Laura, his new partner, can do no wrong. He ignores the warning signs of her inconsistent behavior because he is blinded by his idealization of her.

Actionable Step: Take a step back and evaluate the situation objectively. Look for any red flags or negative patterns in the relationship. Seek advice from trusted friends or a therapist who can provide an outside perspective. It’s crucial to understand that idealizing someone can prevent us from seeing the reality of the situation and making informed decisions.

Emotional Dependence:

Limerence often leads to emotional dependency, where we rely heavily on the person we’re infatuated with for our happiness and well-being. Real-life scenario: Emma feels anxious and empty when she doesn’t receive a text message from Mike, her crush. Her mood is solely dependent on his attention.

Actionable Step: Focus on building your own emotional strength and independence. Engage in self-care activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Cultivate other relationships and hobbies that nourish your soul. By investing in yourself, you can break free from the emotional reliance on someone else and find your own happiness.

Neglecting Other Relationships and Responsibilities:

Limerence can cause us to neglect important relationships and responsibilities in our lives. Real-life scenario: Alex spends all his time and energy trying to impress Lisa, his neighbor, and neglects his friendships, family, and work commitments.

Actionable Step: Take a step back and reassess your priorities. Balance your time and energy between different areas of your life. Nurture existing relationships and fulfill your responsibilities. Setting boundaries and establishing a healthy balance will help you regain control and prevent limerence from consuming your life.

While the feelings associated with limerence can be intense and captivating, it’s important to recognize the signs and take proactive steps to regain control. By acknowledging obsessive thoughts, avoiding idealization, fostering emotional independence, and maintaining a healthy balance in life, you can prevent limerence from overshadowing your well-being and relationships. Remember, love should enhance your life, not consume it.

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