Making new friends is difficult. Keeping friends is more difficult. So, how do you deal with difficult transitions with your friends? Friends do not follow. Friends are not likes. Surrogates provide a false sense of identity and comfort; they are not human companions. Friends are difficult to find in today’s world because our lives are so fleeting. We can work from mountain villages, seaside towns, or urban cafes, but it appears that we work more often from the lonely confines of our own homes. I’ve never felt compelled to have a large number of friends, but I value my reliable friends – my 2 a.m. friends, on whom I can call and rely at any time of day or night. Throughout my life, I’ve purposefully cultivated friendships that keep me mentally, physically & spiritually growing.
So, if the ups and downs of life have you struggling with friendships, keep reading. I’ll share five lessons I’ve learned over the years to help you develop, maintain, or let go of certain friendships so you can focus on the relationships that bring you happiness and energy.
You Were Created to Make Friends.
You can’t succeed as a lone ranger in life. Having friends keeps you from feeling lonely and its negative mental and physical effects. Having friends does not imply that you must be the most popular person on the planet, but research shows that having frequent and quality interactions with other people improves your life. Isn’t it no surprise? Friends, I’m sure you’re aware of this:
- Boost your self-esteem
- Increase your happiness.
- Give people a sense of belonging
- Provide problem-solving advice
- Encourage new and exciting adventures.
However, good friends are hard to come by, and you won’t find any if you strive for perfection. Instead, recognise that each friend can assist you in expressing your uniqueness, creativity, and curiosity in a variety of ways. Here are five things you should know as you go through difficult friendship transitions.
- Some friendships are fleeting. Most friendships are seasonal, which is fine. Some friends are only meant to be drinking buddies in college. Others are coworkers. While others may be your down-the-hall neighbours. For whatever reason, fate brought you together for a season, but the wind will blow and the relationship will fade away at some point. Enjoy your friendships while you still have them; you have them for a reason.
- Maintain old friendships, but not at the expense of new ones. There’s something special about having old friends. It’s enjoyable to share memories, reminisce about the good old days, and find solace in the company of people who only know you. However, spending time with these relationships should not come at the expense of time spent with current friends. Maintain life-giving past friendships while ending toxic relationships. However, the past is the past. Invest in relationships right now, in this season of life.
- Invest in the future even if you don’t know what it is. Making new friends is similar to farming in that you are constantly planting new relationships to see if they will grow. You’ll water and fertilise some friendships, and one day you might have a lovely friendship. However, not all relationships succeed. Some show promise before withering and dying. Don’t be discouraged by this. You never know which seed will blossom into a wonderful friendship. This has always surprised me throughout my life. Don’t be afraid to take a risk. Put in the effort, and the friendships that are meant to be will emerge.
- Don’t be surprised if people change their minds. Life is unpredictable. People move. People evolve. People perish. So don’t be surprised or disheartened if friends leave you. People will abandon you for no apparent reason. You will do the same. Nobody is the same person they were six months ago. People develop various interests, goals, and aspirations, sometimes on purpose and sometimes by chance. Life is unpredictable. People will not remain the same.
Finishing up – Every friendship encounters speed bumps. When life throws a friendship into disarray, here are a couple of strategies to help keep it together:
- Communicate frequently. Share your experiences and be available to them when they need to talk. Trust is built through consistent communication.
- Be adaptable. Change your plans to accommodate your friend, even if it is inconvenient. Make an effort to find common ground so that you both feel satisfied with the outcome.
- Demonstrate empathy. Listen but do not speak. Instead, try to understand where your friend is coming from and offer assistance where necessary.
- Be truthful. Be honest about what you’re thinking or experiencing. Request that your friend do the same. The foundation of trust is honesty.
Life’s transitions complicate friendships even further. Enjoy them while you can, and use these strategies to cultivate, maintain, and discard any toxic friendships that enter and exit your life. Best wishes!
Hi, I’m Garima and I write about life experiences. I have several books available on Amazon. Check them out today! Any purchases or KDP reads will be greatly appreciated. If you like my books, do leave a review. Here’s my author page on Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0BQDZXYNV
3 Comments Add yours
Very good post.
Friends are like flowers Brightening life’s winding path Bloom forevermore
Laughter echoes free Shared moments light up the soul True friends, heart to heart
In the stormy night Friends are an anchor of hope Guiding us to shore
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Friendship is a lovely relation without which life seems dull. It is the relationship with our friends that teaches us to share, love, care and most importantly helps us to fight odds and be successful. Having true friends acts as a boon. Friends increase the sense of belongingness and generate a feel-good factor.
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