Why Am I Never Satisfied After I Get What I Want

Two exercises from ancient philosophy are provided in Why You’re Rarely Satisfied With Getting What You Want (And How to Fix It) to ensure that you continue to enjoy life.

Being truly content is far more difficult than it appears. You might put a lot of effort into your ambitions just to be let down by their accomplishment. Or excitedly anticipate a holiday only to find that the anticipation was the major attraction. We occasionally experience happiness in our work, but it’s frequently contaminated by the unpleasant whisper, “Is this it?” You are neither ungrateful nor doomed to be sad. The fact is that your mind was created by natural selection to survive, not to be content, and this necessitates a difficult balancing act between obtaining your goals and savouring them.

Bad Predictions Lead To Bad Times.

Although we don’t believe it, you and I are poor prognosticators. We live our lives making educated guesses about what lies ahead, and our errors in judgement set us up for constant disappointment. “The part of our brain that allows us to think about the future is one of nature’s newest inventions, so it isn’t surprising that when we try to use this new ability to imagine our futures, we make some rookie errors,” writes Daniel Gilbert in Stumbling on Happiness. Events that are unexpected will always occur. It is difficult to predict them, yet imagining a time without them is like living in a story with an unsatisfactory resolution.

Evolution prevents you from savouring the moment.

The only reason you’re still alive is because you’re constantly unhappy. Our forebears’ constant desire for more was understandable. If dinner was enough for them, they wouldn’t hunt, and if they were content on their property, they wouldn’t go exploring. It has hindered us from developing, creating, and doing amazing things in more recent times. Take Tony Robbins’ advice: “Dissatisfaction is a diamond. You’ll become comfy if you’re completely satisfied. Then your quality of life starts to decline. But you shouldn’t let unhappiness rule your life. Here are a few indicators:

  • feeling like a perpetual under performer
  • destroying successful partnerships
  • pursuing prestige or wealth far beyond what is necessary
  • having sandy toes and not being able to enjoy a beautiful sunset

Your mind is quite good at convincing you to keep moving, which is the problem. It must be trained to appreciate the benefits just as much as it craves them. How? Read on.

Two Steps to Happiness -Like most mental illnesses, philosophy is the answer. Both come from Buddhism and Stoicism, respectively.

  1. Manage your expectations.
    “To expect things to unfold in a predetermined manner is to reject life itself. No matter how hard you try, you cannot and will not completely eradicate uncertainty from your life. -Ryan Holiday. Thoughts are under your control, however events are outside your control. We assign the outcomes we hope for to future events. With my time off, I’ll write like Ernest Hemingway. I’ll feel refreshed after my vacation. Date night will be passionate and loving. The issue is that there is no room for error. When you try to foresee the future, a different, less useful reality becomes available for comparison. So either you stop making predictions altogether and distance yourself from the result, or you engage in negative visualisation. You can adjust the comparison in this manner. “The man who has seen troubles coming takes their power away when they come.” — Seneca. The “single most useful tool in the psychological toolbox of the Stoics” is negative visualisation. In his book A Guide to the Good Life, William B. Irvine writes. Being a realist rather than a pessimist is the goal. You become more appreciative of the present moment as a result of considering the worst-case scenarios.
  2. Recognize the truth
    Dukkha, or unhappiness, is one of the four noble truths that form the foundation of Buddhism. Life itself is suffering.
    Although it may seem a little melancholy, disregarding this reality leads to more harm than good. Only those who accept pain may triumph over it. What you don’t acknowledge, you can’t fix. Accepting unhappiness as a given can help you get rid of its sting. Take the terrible with the good, and you’ll stop trying to fix what’s wrong because there isn’t anything wrong with it. It simply is. “Thinking creates reality; there is nothing good or bad in existence.” —Hamlet by Shakespeare. Therefore, if you feel any unhappiness while you go about your life, don’t fight it. Accept it. Your achievements in life are not diminished by this situation. Only a negative response to it will.

Net Net

Happiness ultimately boils down to making a choice between the discomfort of becoming aware of your mental disorders and the discomfort of allowing them to govern your life. Robert Wright. Your defence against unfavourable thoughts is rational cognition. Seneca, a philosopher, reportedly stated, “Realize this and you will find strength. You have power over your mind, not outside events.” You must manage how you perceive satisfaction if you desire it. You encourage it to arrive when you cease expecting it. When you come to terms with its absence, you stop missing it. Satisfaction will eventually find you if you stop looking for it.

Hi, I’m Garima and I write about life experiences. I have several books available on Amazon. Check them out today! Any purchases or KDP reads will be greatly appreciated. If you like my books, do leave a review. Here’s my author page on Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0BQDZXYNV


9 Comments Add yours

  1. drvenkypens says:

    Great thoughts ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for taking time to read my post.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is what I needed to read today after a terrible unexpected event……….. Keeping this for life “To expect things to unfold in a predetermined manner is to reject life itself. No matter how hard you try, you cannot and will not completely eradicate uncertainty from your life.” – Ryan Holiday… Thank You

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      I know this may sound silly right now but this soon shall pass. What you have lost today will only be replaced by something which is for your highest good.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. BJ says:

    God teaches us not to covet, envy, or be greedy. We’re to be content with what we have and whatever circumstance we’re in.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes be in the flow state of things.


  4. Write_rspace says:

    I like to think there are 2 set of people: those who love the chase, they are thrilled by all the stumbling blocks they pass on the way and that’s what drives them.
    While the other group enjoy just the achievements and not necessarily how they got there.

    Liked by 1 person

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