My life was changed by this one piece of advice, and it will also make you happier.

Life isn’t always simple, so when we’re stuck and in need of assistance, we naturally turn to our loved ones for guidance. There are countless columns in the globe that offer advice on how to improve your life in any area of it, from how to find a life mate to how to fix the washbasin. Nevertheless, a lot of people give us advice without even asking, and not all of it is beneficial some could even make us feel worse.

I quickly discovered that the advise someone gives will rely on their life circumstances or experiences. When I was younger, I would seek help from my pals for even the smallest problems in life. For instance, I might say to my single friend, “My partner isn’t acting well.” You must leave him, she would say. You ought to be treated better. That seems rather extreme, but I later read this advice online that said, “Don’t take relationship advice from single people,” and it is absolutely accurate. Similarly, if you’re in a relationship, you can’t ask your single pals why being single is such a terrific experience.

But even though it is among the more useful pieces of advise I have ever received, it is not the greatest. I was given the best piece of advice that improved the quality of my life: “Don’t take things too personally.” Growing up, I was always really sensitive and quick to respond, and whatever people said had a deeper impact on me. Every single thing was being taken very personally by me. I tried to modify myself so that people wouldn’t continue to criticise me because I detested hearing anything bad about myself. I never paused to consider whether what people were saying was accurate, whether they knew me, or whether it really mattered to me.

It eventually becomes tiresome because, to be honest, you have no control over what other people believe or say. The only person it will damage is you if you spend every waking hour of your life letting other people’s deeds or words impact you directly. As I grew older and began to write more and publish myself, I felt proud, but it would rapidly fade after reading one unfavourable review. It’s hard to publish your work for people to view and evaluate without receiving feedback from someone. You will not always be right, and someone will voice their disagreement as the rest of the world watches from behind their screens.

My initial excitement by publishing on my website was shortly replaced by hurt after reading numerous comments that stated, “This is ridiculous!” The less vicious ones were “We don’t need your writing,” and many others. Even if I had more favourable comments, I would become fixated on one negative one and wonder why the individual said it while also doubting my own words and values. My sentiments were hurt, so I cried. I then began to wonder, “Do I not belong here?” and “Am I a terrible writer?” I had to take some time to get over everything, and I stopped writing for a while out of fear that people would be unkind to me.

I’ve endured a lot of criticism over the years, and perhaps it was becoming older and realising that mean people will always say hurtful things that left me with the option of either stopping or continuing to write. I made the decision to keep writing, and I continue to receive insulting comments on every item I publish from strangers who don’t know anything about my life and who sit behind their screens to judge. The truth is that contented individuals don’t even consider or have the time to go online and post obscene content for no reason. Not that significant problems, like gender equality or human rights, should not be discussed, but it is a subject for another day.

The advise to “don’t take things too personally” is one I wish I had learned sooner because it has significantly improved the quality of my life, but it took time and it didn’t happen instantly. The less I began to take things personally, the more confident I became in who I was and what I was doing. I didn’t let one negative event to overwhelm five or six positive ones. That’s not to say I don’t get upset if I witness someone being cruel, but it doesn’t stop me from acting in the way I want to.

Additionally, I don’t know the people who are saying such things; perhaps they were having a bad day or their life has been terrible for them (still not an excuse), but allowing myself to be impacted did not help me and instead did the opposite. I’ve become more composed and patient over the years by trying not to take things too personally. I’m not as quick to respond as I once was. I am aware that other people’s opinions of me are irrelevant to me, especially when they don’t even know me. We can’t stop individuals from having opinions, but if we use this useful instrument in our lives, we can greatly improve our own happiness.

Listen, I know it’s terrifying, unpleasant, and extremely distressing right now, but you’ll be OK. This is something you must do for yourself. You must go beyond what is known and strive to believe that you will be fine no matter what. Even if things don’t work out. Even if you don’t find what you’re looking for, it’s still a good thing to show that you tried. It is with this thought I introduce my new book “Acceptance”. Hope we find the courage to accept what is. https://a.co/d/jli7oHN