Give your loved ones the ability to fly, a place to call home, and motivation to remain. — The Dalai Lama

Don’t confuse connection with control

We can all agree that love is a lovely feeling. Love feels nice, and receiving love feels good. We must work to make it our goal to allow love to flow in and through us abundantly because the capacity to love is an important characteristic. Although there are many wonderful aspects to relationships, they can also be challenging and trying. All three of the components listed in the opening quote must be present in a relationship that is rooted in love. In other words, love should entwine our hearts, interweave our thoughts, and strengthen our relationship with the people we cherish, much as a tree’s roots embrace the land.

Our hearts have the capacity to feel many different kinds of love, each of which is distinctive in its core. We may experience kinship love, romantic love, friendship love, superficial love, all-encompassing love, etc. Knowing a few basics about love will help us be at our best for others when we love them. For instance, you are not treating your relationship with the respect and affection they deserve if you adore them yet get into a jealous rage when they are absent for a few minutes. Or, if you have adolescents and you won’t let them leave the house out of concern that something horrible will happen, your actions may seem justified, but what they need is love that allows them to experience a little independence at a time as they learn about the world.

For instance, if you know couples that genuinely care for and respect one another, it’s likely that they reached this level of closeness via discernment and hard work. Through their relationships, people occasionally discover that trying to cling to someone can make them want to leave. It’s important to build a bridge between people’s hearts, but watch out for connections that are really just chains. A connection is developing when you give your loved ones the freedom to be who they are and do anything they want. But coercing someone into doing something against their will out of fear of losing them won’t forge a close bond.

Strengthening Your Relationships

We are reminded to plant positive seeds in the people we care about by the Dalai Lama’s remark. This could be showing affection, complimenting others, and offering encouragement. Giving someone roots is spending time and effort on them. This could be spending the time to impart important life lessons, sharing memorable occasions with them, or simply demonstrating unwavering affection. If we do these things, our loved ones will want to keep in touch with us. In order for our kids to one day leave the nest and become independent, contributing members of society, we give them wings and roots. As they travel alongside you throughout life, we give our spouses wings and roots so they can grow and develop into their best selves. It’s common for spouses to believe that their relationships will suffer if their partners have hobbies other from their own, yet it’s crucial for couples to have interests apart from one another. It’s good for the connection.

Think about how your relationships are going in light of this. Are you investing time in them? Are you demonstrating love to your friends and family? Do you have issues with jealousy or control? Your connections with other people frequently reflect how you feel about yourself. Take some time to assess how you are feeling about yourself if you notice that you are having trouble in your relationships. Work on improving your self-worth and taking better care of yourself. Do what you can to develop deep, meaningful relationships since a life without them is not ideal. As you all work to strengthen your bonds and live a wonderful life together, you will be happier, as will your loved ones.

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