Ways to Stop Worrying and Begin Living the Life You Want


Everything changes when you realise that ideas aren’t real and can’t harm you.

Can you stop thinking for a moment ever? That day will come, and I’m not in a rush to get there, so I’m not encouraging you to cease thinking altogether. However, the advice in Dr. Richard Carlson’s book Stop Thinking, Start Living is to stop thinking the same ideas in the same manner that you have been doing up to this point. In order for you to start leading the existence you desire. We’ll also look at five of his key concepts in this piece. One of the things I appreciate most about this book is how Carlson makes the point that we experience our thoughts about our circumstances, not our actual circumstances.

Some people associate snow with snowball fights, sledding, snowboarding, and snowmen. These folks are extremely happy when it snows! Others, however, associate snow with things like frozen pipes, dead batteries, and unpleasant conditions. In other words, there is a lot of grumbling about the weather. However, remember that the snow doesn’t give a damn what you think about it. Snow is impartial. It merely exists and continues to be snow. It doesn’t create your potential feelings and reactions, either good or negative. Only your thoughts can help you with that.

  1. Opportunities

Carlson discusses how we can experience a sudden change of heart or shift in awareness in this chapter. The change frequently occurs without warning and is followed by a positive emotion. In patients, I’ve observed this. When a patient who has battled with weight loss develops their own healthy diet, the weight starts to come off. Or a patient experiencing overwhelming anxiety may discover they are the ones who have brought about the thought they are so afraid of. You could say that patients have heard what I have been discussing with them, but this understanding comes from them, not from my words, which is why it has staying power. And these changes result from someone viewing their situations differently, not from a change in circumstances. Nothing in your life needs to alter, according to Carlson, for you to feel better. You merely need to gain a new understanding of something regarding the nature of your own thoughts. Your abrupt change could occur in a second and be very significant.

  1. Your ideas and behaviour You sense

“For a second, consider your breathing.” You had most definitely lost sight of the fact that you were doing it until I pointed it out to you. As long as you are not out of breath, you simply ignore that you are breathing because it comes so naturally and automatically. The process of thought is similar. Because you do it constantly, it’s simple to forget that it’s occurring and it gradually fades from your awareness. Contrary to breathing, forgetting that you are thinking even for a split second can lead to significant issues in your life, such as unhappiness and even depression. The cause is that your feelings will always override your reasoning. The creation of a feeling occurs so quickly, in a tiny fraction of a second, that you are unaware of it occurring, despite the fact that it is neurologically impossible for you to have one without first having a thought, according to Carlson. It is through thinking that you shape your experience of life, and it is freeing to realise that you are the one who thinks. “Being offended by your own thoughts is like writing a nasty letter to yourself and then being offended by that letter!” It is up to you what you do with your thoughts once you realise that they are not the world you are experiencing.

  1. Disregarding ideas

People frequently battle with this. How do you put an idea to rest? What’s the purpose if you’ve already thought about it and are experiencing the result? Carlson demonstrates in this part how we automatically reject ideas without realising it.
‘Furthermore, you should ask yourself: If I can reject one idea, why can’t I reject another? You can reject any thoughts you think you can, which is the simple reality. Thoughts can appear out of the blue, and you have no control over when they will, but once you are aware of them, you have authority. According to Carlson, thoughts are merely images in your consciousness that you can choose to dismiss whenever you like. When you believe one idea to be more significant than another, a problem arises. You quickly dismiss an unimportant thought, such as what you’ll have for dinner, after analysing an essential one. I frequently ask patients to picture themselves walking down the street, completely consumed with worry about their finances or a romantic relationship, when they see a kid step into the road. They sprint after the kid to rescue them from oncoming traffic and return them to their parent. Where did their fearful emotions go at this point?
The key is to avoid returning to anxious ideas after they have passed. “You already dismiss thoughts; this is not a skill you need to learn.”

  1. The habit of considering

The only habit you cannot modify is thinking, but you can alter how you think. Be patient with yourself if it takes some time to break a pattern of negative thinking that has developed over many years. Because it has become so commonplace for most people, they often are surprised to discover just how much of their time is spent ruminating negatively. Pay heed to the internal dialogue you have with yourself. Are these talks constructive or destructive? ‘Keep reminding yourself to stop thinking negatively. Let go of negative ideas when they arise. Knowing they are unimportant, let them float away. Say to yourself, “It’s not worth it,” and try not to think about them. Carlson tells us that our thoughts shape who we are, so the way we live is entirely up to us.

  1. Contentment and appreciation

No path leads to contentment. The key is to be happy. Happiness is a state of mind, not a result of external circumstances. When you play the “I’ll be happy when” game with yourself, you are telling yourself that you will feel happy when you take your thoughts away from whatever it is that is making you unhappy and focus on the new, shiny object you have. What are you waiting for, though? Carlson reminds us that once you stop thinking about and concentrating on what makes you unhappy, happiness is a sensation that is easy to have. Unhappiness cannot and does not exist on its own. And having a grateful mindset towards life has nothing to do with having or not having anything. When you’re depressed, avoid asking yourself “why,” as this will only make you feel worse. Allow yourself to feel better by letting the idea fade away like leaves in a river. Remind yourself of this time.

Last remarks

‘If there were one thing I could leave you with, it would be this: live your life in the present instant and be grateful that you have that moment,’ Carlson said in his parting remarks. You’ll discover mental well-being and happiness in the present moment.

Hi, I’m Garima and I write about life experiences. I have several books available on Amazon. Check them out today! Any purchases or KDP reads will be greatly appreciated. If you like my books, do leave a review. Here’s my author page on Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0BQDZXYNV


5 Comments Add yours

  1. So inspiring,. Just in time for me, and my utmost pleasure to thank you for this post here.. 🙏🏼😍😊🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Most welcome. Thank you for taking time to read my post.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Pleasure always..!! 🙏🏼😊

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Life is simple but people make it complicated.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes we all do. I think it depends on the situation as well. It just spirals out of control.


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