The Fake You That You Use to Get Validation and Approval Is Hiding Underneath the BS Persona. Quit pretending to be someone you’re not.
It must be incredibly exhausting to be a phoney. Isn’t it? Pretending to hold views you don’t actually hold out of fear of offending people if you’re a little politically incorrect. Pretending to be happy and modest while harbouring ambitions you’re hesitant to pursue. With that cringe-worthy corporate speak, “We provide synergistic solutions,” and that fake fucking grin on LinkedIn, you appear like a hostage. You are free to simply quit. As long as you’re not doing anyone harm, you can just live your existence however you want. This is how.
Who exactly are “Real You”?
The free soul is uncommon, but you can spot one when you see it because, in general, being around or with them makes you feel happy. Bukowski, Charles Consequently, how do you liberate your soul? It’s not you. You take stock of the free spirit you already possess and purge all extraneous material until it’s all that’s left. You generally have a good sense of whether you’re leading the life you know you want to lead. I’m sure you know. In the lack of external criticism, you would live the way you already know you want to live. If you didn’t require outside approval, this is how you would exist.
Essentially, the unbridled childlike form of yourself, the raw energy, with the maturity and fundamental social cues of an adult, is who you really are. No one would choke you. You are progressively locked into a mental cage after being born free. You start to develop social conditions. You have a recipe for a life spent in compliance with what other people want rather than what you want when you combine that with your innate need to fit in with the tribe. The person you would be if you weren’t in that prison is who you really are. The “real you” is self-sufficient. It is aware that it has all the necessities.
Why Do You Layer B.S. on Top of Your Life and Personality?
“If you’re ever inclined to seek approval from others, remember that doing so compromises your integrity. Be your own witness if you require one. — Epictetus. You’re terrified. While each of us has a variety of fears, on some level, we all just want to be loved and are concerned that if we are truthful to who we are, others won’t feel the same way. It’s not always literally the case that you feel the need to be loved by everyone you come into contact with; rather, it’s more of a movement in your everyday life that communicates that other people’s approval means more than your own.
And, as you have undoubtedly already discovered, that prevents you from taking advantage of many incredible opportunities. Additionally, it is exhausting to constantly feel as though you must put on a show. However, the majority of us elect to take this path because it is preferable to the other option, exposure. Insecurity is weakness. To protect yourself from being attacked, you put on more clothes. But there are two sides to everything in existence. You won’t be able to benefit from placing yourself out there if there is no risk of harm. This is how everything essential is organised.
So what are some of the fake layers we put on to hide ourselves?
- Personas are very popular on social media. To win people over, we adopt personalities and invent caricatures of ourselves. All of us are culpable of this in some way, whether in real life or online, even if we don’t do it in an offensive manner.
- Being too accommodating is possible. Yes, you want to get along with people well, but if you spend the rest of your life avoiding any kind of conflict, you’ll never succeed in your goals.
- Victimhood is a story we tell ourselves to stop us from achieving objectives that might hurt our egos. To at least have some influence over the bruising, we bleed first on ourselves.
- We feel the need to make things more complex than they already are because it is painful to acknowledge that many of the things that make us happy in life are actually quite simple and only require execution. Admitting we’re simply not performing is difficult.
- Incongruence — When we feel the need to change who we are or how we act based on the people we are with, our personalities become out of sync.
- Political correctness — There are a lot of people in society today who act as though they think things they don’t in order to fit in. Their merit? They are permitted to follow the throng.
- Accepting the story as true — People will deceive themselves into thinking they enjoy living a certain manner when they don’t. Every day I encounter courteous corporate types in my city who are slightly passively aggressive and stifled, demonstrating this phenomenon.
Do you realise how much more difficult life can be when you have all these extra levels of BS on top of your personality? Yeah. My flaws are obvious. Many of these are issues I personally battle with, and I constantly think about addition by removing things. Consider some of the areas we can improve.
How to Develop Into the Real You
“You are already aware of what needs to be done and how to go about doing it. What is preventing you? – Tim Grover. Concentrate on peeling back the layers. However, don’t punish yourself for wearing clothes in the first place. It’s difficult to describe. You are aware that you must let go, but if you feel like you must push yourself extremely hard to do so, you are setting yourself up for failure. For me? Just to keep myself from adding more BS on top, I attempt to remind myself. Just like a friend gently reminding you, “Hey, you realise you don’t have to do that, right?”
After that, I labour diligently throughout the day while avoiding exerting too much pressure. I make an effort to live my life, engage with others, and share aspects of my personality with them in an open and sensible manner. Simply maintaining the goal of keeping everything as simple as possible, even when it’s difficult. When you’re headed in the correct direction, you might start noticing some of the following behaviors, actions, beliefs, etc.
- You are in harmony, more specifically, your ideas, words, and deeds are in harmony.
- You are the same individual in all situations and around all types of people because you have congruence. Although you may make some minor adjustments, your fundamental nature stays the same.
- You select the proper objectives – You select your objectives based on what you desire. Not what the public desires. Not what your relatives and friends would prefer. Not at all what I want.
- You don’t conceal your true views to win people over; you are unapologetically and shamelessly you. You don’t degrade yourself to appease other people. You’re not doing anything that makes you feel embarrassed, so you’re not ashamed. Living behind those barriers makes you feel ashamed. Release them.
- You already know what you want — Some claim that this is a challenging procedure. Maybe. Or maybe if you didn’t worry about the labels, the approval, and the layers of BS, you’d be much clearer about what you desired.
- You are aware of who you are and the way the universe functions. You are aware of your values. Again, without the BS, you are just who you really are.
- You are aware of the kinds of people you enjoy spending time with and, perhaps more significantly, you are also aware of the kinds of people you prefer to avoid in your life.
- You make the commitments you keep to yourself; if you state you’ll do something, you follow through on them. This major internal conflict is no longer present. When you make a choice, you are committed to that choice.
- You exude assurance, but what exactly does that entail? It implies you have the ability and knowledge to deal with any situation that arises. Don’t you believe that once you permitted yourself to develop some competence, you would be competent? Letting go of the layers allows you to create.
- The ultimate objective is to do whatever the hell you want, right? You lead the life you want to lead, as long as you’re not harming anyone. You are in charge of your selfish wants as well as your lofty altruistic goals. You release your reserve. If you want something bad enough, just go for it because even the worst-case scenario isn’t that awful.
Unrestrained. No need for so many clothes. Only you. strong you, too. Think about how different your existence would be if you weren’t constantly feeling constrained. Imagine if you simply did what you wanted to do because you wanted to. And for the remainder of your life, you continued to do this every day. That would be fairly good, right?
Hi, I’m Garima and I write about life experiences. I have several books available on Amazon. Check them out today! Any purchases or KDP reads will be greatly appreciated. If you like my books, do leave a review. Here’s my author page on Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0BQDZXYNV
Be Inspired..!! 
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