You Just Need to believe you deserve a better life because you deserve good things to happen to you.
You are not kind to yourself. Consider the combined effect of all the unfavourable things you have spoken to yourself. Many of us harbour secret feelings of being unworthy of our ambitions. Where did this come from? Why do we harm ourselves in this way? How can we make it better? How do you get success?
From birth, you’ve been up against it
It doesn’t help that from a very young age you learn to judge your own behaviour using the standards of right and wrong, which is usually wrong. You are constantly advised what to do incorrectly throughout your entire life. It’s “don’t touch that” when you’re young. When you get older, practically everything you learn is based on preventing failure rather than gaining achievement. You are constantly on defence. always attempting to steer clear of errors. Feeling good has never been given as much weight as looking ugly.
Our civilization as a whole is a comparison trap. The grades are arbitrary and have nothing to do with whether or not you truly understand the material. They could easily be pass or fail. You pass “standardized tests” as if people were interchangeable, and success is measured according to the same criteria. Everything is uniform, including the neighborhood, car, degree, job, and home. It makes sense that you wouldn’t feel deserving of a life where you deviate from the norm after years of going through this mental ordeal and living according to a rigid schedule. You were raised by society to see yourself in terms of what you lack from the jump.
Use fire to put out fires
That journey, that process of adhering to the story and letting it go, were all things I experienced. Then, and this took years as I learned and honed new skills, I developed a new voice in my head to combat the unfavourable self-talk I’d been programmed to engage in all my life. I began to talk to myself in a genuine way, even if it was only subconscientially at first. I would rationally support my success with reasoning. Here are some of the things I’ve come to tell myself throughout the years. What major irrational flaw do you have that prevents you from succeeding? What makes you the most stupid person ever?
Or are you confident that you could accomplish much more if you only focused? You’ve attempted to focus previously but were unsuccessful. Good, good. Why is that now required to count? What law mandates that you maintain a running, permanent account of all your failed attempts? Why can’t you just go on and begin again? Honestly, why not you? Why is success a reality for others but not for you? What is the superhuman trait you notice in those who have fulfilled their aspirations, compared to yourself? They either bleed blood like you do or are gods.
Make a mental flywheel to help you succeed
Confidence is a result of competence. You won’t have to rely on deceiving yourself or fabricating it after you have accumulated enough proof of your own accomplishment. To write, I no longer need to have confidence in myself. Countless blog entries, three books, and millions of words have all been authored by me. I can demonstrate my writing skills. The same thing will apply to your dream. 80 percent of your effort is directed towards reaching the tipping point, shattering the wall, and reaching critical mass; the remaining 20 percent is focused on eventually realising your ambition. Most people are effectively stopped in their tracks at the opening stages of any dream because they are so riddled with uncertainty and difficulty.
You may carry your scrapes and bruises forward till you reach the other side, though, if you realise that it’s the hardest portion and that you won’t constantly feel that heavily full of uncertainty. And what is so absurd about it? The main obstruction is your mind. The actual steps are not too difficult. As time passes, you’ll begin to believe that you are deserving. You’ll realise how restrictive your views are if you accomplish something you initially believed was beyond your power. Regarding some of my remaining big, bold, and challenging objectives, I still hold limiting beliefs. But now that I am aware of how silly my old self would have found my current normal existence, I have let go of the desire for complete self-confidence and am content to carry on with my work.
Recognize your true self
How often have you been told that you are capable? You probably tell yourself that a lot. In our society and occasionally even in our personal upbringing, we regrettably lack positive reinforcement. You may, however, always rely on yourself for help. Begin to care for yourself and begin to see yourself as a friend. Try to do that consciously. I’m peculiar. My inner voice is audible. viewing oneself in the mirror occasionally. I make an effort to remind myself that I am the one who put my crazy monkey mind liar in check, not them. It’s not you speaking to yourself negatively. I assume you are aware of that.
This is simply who I am. It’s untrue. It is the way you have decided to be. Because you pay attention to that critical voice rather than to your inner voice, this is how you naturally behave. You must, at the end of the day, take your own care and your connection with yourself seriously. Not every day will be pleasant for you. Self-help isn’t, to put it mildly, foolproof. What options do you have, though? Either you give up and allow your reptile brain take control of your life, or you try your hardest to make it work. Keep talking to yourself about those things. You have a duty to better your life for yourself.
Hi, I’m Garima and I write about life experiences. I have several books available on Amazon. Check them out today! Any purchases or KDP reads will be greatly appreciated. If you like my books, do leave a review. Here’s my author page on Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0BQDZXYNV
4 Comments Add yours
Well said. It was only when I began to recognize my subconscious mind, began to access it, began to recognize my inner Golden Buddha that I found the confidence to understand that my story matters. All of ours do. Thanks!
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I am glad you liked the post. When we are present and mindful, we have the opportunity to choose how we act in real-time, and when we cultivate that skill through meditation and dharma practice, we find ourselves acting less-harmfully more often, naturally.
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Yes indeed. We can choose!
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Choice is powerful indeed. Thank you for taking time to read my blog. Much appreciated.