Are you designing a life with purpose?

One that is fulfilling and genuine to who you are your dreams, your interests, and your principles. The pursuit of perfection is an illusion, thus living consciously does not entail living a perfect life. Instead, creating a life with intention and consciousness entails turning off outside distractions, searching within for wisdom, and choosing choices that are in line with your core motivations, joys, and ideas of what success means to you. It makes sense and seems nearly apparent to take charge of your life and make the life you want. However, most of us don’t live like this in our daily lives. What prevents us from choosing the best course of action for ourselves, placing our foot firmly on the floor while we drive, and not pausing to check our rearview mirror?

The prescriptive framework for life that we are given from an early age contains the solution. We are socialised from an early age to view the world and our place in it via a set of social norms and expectations that uphold age-old beliefs about how men and women should conduct their lives. The standards by which a successful life is measured are societal norms. The attitudes, behaviours, social roles, and values that a given culture and time have deemed to be acceptable have a profound impact on our conception of who we are. As children and young people, we are gradually urged to value conformity over authenticity and give up our ability to control our own lives.

I plan to be a millionaire, have my own house, get married, and have two kids by the time I’m 35. Undoubtedly, we have all expressed similar sentiments about our imagined future selves, as if achieving each of these goals were a given and could be checked off the list of life’s necessities with reasonable ease. Therein lays the fallacious societal paradigm that even today’s modern cultures and societies still uphold. Since nothing in life is guaranteed, none of these things are anyone’s birthright. Additionally, there is no magical age at which we must achieve them in order to retain access to them. And perhaps most importantly of all, these things are not requirements for living. Such accomplishments are actually archaic measures of success, and failing to achieve them by a certain date is neither a sign of your own shortcomings nor a tragic twist of fate depriving you of happiness and fulfilment.

Without conscious knowledge, we accept cultural structures and ideals of a decent life with a passivity that conceals the reality that each of us has the ability to make decisions and exercise personal agency, and that our fate is not predetermined. Every person has a right to live their own life, which is defined by their own changing views, desires, and values. We all have the freedom to decide who we are and who we want to be. Feel empowered to question cultural norms and to challenge societal structures that categorise behaviour into categories like good and bad, acceptable and unacceptable, success and failure. Instead of letting society’s expectations weigh you down, connect with your inner desires and live your authentic life. You are not constrained in what you can achieve, possess, or be. Be a seeker and live in accordance with what at any given time resonates as being true for you. Never stop discovering, learning, changing, or expanding.

Life is not a one-size-fits-all proposition, and neither are humans as a species. My journey is unique from yours and everyone else’s on this planet. Dreams, expectations, ideas, personalities, values, and abilities are all unique to each of us. So give yourself permission to let go of what you believe people expect of you and of the person you believe you should be in order to conform to imposed social norms. Living freely is becoming who you want to be and exceeding your own realistic goals. Set your own standards for success and pleasure that are flexible and wholly consistent with the genuine life you want to live, for yourself and no one else. This is the first step away from passivity towards agency and away from being shaped by the circumstances of your existence. To control your own destiny and shape events the way you want them, first know who you are. Rekindle the boundless childlike curiosity that previously existed about oneself and the universe. Pursue a life that is uniquely yours and feels right for you by putting honesty and intuition ahead of conformity.

Everyone you meet will ask you right away if you have a job, a partner, are married, have kids, or own a home, as if there were a set formula for leading a fulfilling life. What is worse and we’ve all been there is when you respond with a resounding “no, no, and no” to any or all of the questions above and are then answered with a tired platitude that is uttered with a tone of sympathy for your perceived misfortune. The questions “Are you happy?” and “What exciting things are happening in your life right now?” are not asked. Stop feeling the need to apologise for or defend your own decisions and where you are in life. Instead, let them to continue living under the constraints of societal norms and cultural expectations if they so choose. Live your life for yourself, not for the approval of others. After all, you establish the standards and decide what constitutes success and pleasure for yourself. The moment has come for you to live your own life, in your own special way, and without any regrets.

“Resilience” is now PUBLISHED!!!! Knowing yourself, your thought patterns, emotional reactions, and go-to behaviours, is the foundation of good mental and emotional health. This book will teach you when to step back, take a break, and make a change. It will share suggestions on how to let go of the old, unhelpful assumptions and take the leap. Any purchases or KDP reads will be greatly appreciated. If you like my books, do leave a review. Here’s my author page on Amazon – https://a.co/d/5Rr2D4n