Do You Find Relaxing Difficult?


How To Unwind When You’re Bad At Unwinding

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You’d think that we would all find it easy to relax, wouldn’t you? Just pause, take it easy, and unwind. But for many of us, it might be difficult to slow down to the point where we can genuinely start resting. I’ve never been particularly good at unwinding at the drop of a hat, especially on the weekends. It’s one thing to feel bad about unanswered emails while on vacation, but when it’s Saturday and I start to feel like I should be getting ahead on work for the next week to make my life easier in the future, it’s difficult to stop, take a breath, and completely relax.

However, in order to keep moving forward at full speed, we must calm down and slow down. Resting not only improves our performance at work, opens up new opportunities for our relationships, and just feels good, but it also has an effect on how we feel about ourselves. By demonstrating that we value our own time, taking a break can increase our sense of worth. What then can we do to help those of us who are not naturally relaxed yet still want to relax? What if we implemented a rest schedule? It may seem like the complete opposite of what we ought to be doing, but bear with me while I explain.

Going cold turkey without a plan can occasionally (or always) make you anxious if you’re used to pushing through and being the Energizer Bunny. It’s similar to when you can’t fall asleep in the middle of the night and find yourself gazing at the clock, counting down the minutes until you’ve been awake for an hour. The only thing that happens when we try to push ourselves to relax is that we end up not relaxing at all because we are so agitated and upset that we can’t let go! The battle is genuine. I therefore advise those of you who struggle with truly letting go to give this a shot. I don’t mean to say that I schedule everything in 30-minute blocks of time, but rather that you set aside chunks of time and block things out for yourself.

For instance, I often feel terrible when I binge-watch a show on the weekend rather than completing the tasks on my to-do list; yet, it’s also vital to take time for yourself, which for me occasionally entails looking at a TV screen. These tasks can really be added to your to-do list so you can enjoy the satisfying feeling of checking them off as you do them. In order to avoid punishing myself every time I press “play next episode” before I settle in front of the TV, I tell myself the following strategy:

  1. Up to three hours of TV watching
  2. Soak for up to an hour in the tub.
  3. Spend up to an hour reading.
  4. Complete one or two tasks from the list, but only if they sound enjoyable.

Using a routine to help me let go was something I discovered I performed effortlessly and worry-free while on vacation. Regarding how I would spend my vacation days, I was pretty rigid. But within that framework, it was simpler for me to let go and simply lean into the pleasure that comes with travelling. The timetable would soon become a little less rigorous, and I would more easily feel at ease with the pleasure of simply unwinding.

I can stop feeling bad and truly just relax into it if I tell myself I’m going to take three hours and watch TV because it’s all in the plan for the day. The majority of the time, if I take Saturday and really arrange my self-care time, by Sunday I actually feel like I can be more relaxed. Without the stress, I can unwind more easily.

This inability to unwind stems frequently from not feeling like you are adequate. You must always demonstrate your worth and merit by going above and beyond. And while planning some downtime is beneficial in the interim, it doesn’t relieve you of the inner effort required to let go of those. However, there are occasions when you may begin to sift through the more significant problems at hand with the help of these temporary remedies.

I’ll say it again: This is not a long-term solution to the underlying problems. However, as you learn to schedule in more downtime, you’ll discover that the world doesn’t end when you take a day or two off from pushing yourself to your limits. This will help you realise that you can slow down, take care of yourself, and understand that how much work you accomplish is not as important as how much self-care you practise.

“Resilience” is now PUBLISHED!!!! Knowing yourself, your thought patterns, emotional reactions, and go-to behaviours, is the foundation of good mental and emotional health. This book will teach you when to step back, take a break, and make a change. It will share suggestions on how to let go of the old, unhelpful assumptions and take the leap. Any purchases or KDP reads will be greatly appreciated. If you like my books, do leave a review. Here’s my author page on Amazon –


7 Comments Add yours

  1. sicetnon3 says:

    It has been said, “stress is resistance to what is.” That may or may not have something to do with relaxation.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Letting go is the removal of a strong attachment to anything that makes you unhappy or causes suffering. It means letting go of painful thoughts and memories, harmful desires, anxiety and stress, and unhealthy habits. It’s also about learning how to focus on the present moment instead of dwelling on the past.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sicetnon3 says:

        Perhaps “letting go” is like untying a tethered animal. We don’t remove it, we give it freedom

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        Beautiful lines. Letting go doesn’t happen overnight but it takes one day to realize that you may have lost important things and important people but you still have yourself and as long as you’re alive, you owe it to yourself to try, to find happiness, to revel in peace and to learn how to lift yourself up by letting go of what knocks you down.


  2. jordynsaelor says:

    Yes, self-care is super important, but super hard to make yourself do when you’re used to working hard all the time ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      It’s no one else’s job to guess what you need. So, if you’re in dire need of free time alone for your mental health, it’s important to express that. Let your friends and family know that you need to take time for yourself. Think of ways you can ask for their support to get that time if you’re struggling to figure it out. For instance, you could get an accountability partner who also takes time for themselves.

      Liked by 1 person

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