You Are Not What Others Think of You

Never Permit Another Person’s View Of You To Define You

When I was younger, I used to be greatly influenced by what other people thought of me and what they said about me. Therefore, whenever someone told me that I wasn’t good enough at something, I would immediately believe them; however, once they told me the exact opposite, I would start to believe that I was, in fact, excellent enough. But I didn’t realise at the time that I was the only one who could make a decision about this and that I couldn’t just keep listening to what other people think of me without also listening to what I think of myself. I came to the conclusion that throughout the majority of my life, I had completely disregarded my own opinion of myself and instead used the opinions of others to define who I was. I never took the time to try to look at myself objectively.

I didn’t realise at the time, but people will always have an opinion about you. Some may tell you that you are dull, while others may say that you are engaging. While some may compliment you on how wonderful and beautiful you are, others may keep pointing out your imperfections. But after spending a lot of time listening to what other people think of you, you just come to the conclusion that their opinions are irrelevant. Whether or not you are intriguing enough for them or attractive enough for them doesn’t matter. You come to understand that your opinion of yourself is all that really counts.

The most significant viewpoint was always your own. You set yourself free once you realise that. Simply quit seeking continual affirmation and reassurance about yourself from others because, no matter how hard you look, you will never find them there. Instead, look within since there is where you will discover them. I made a self-promise to myself that I would no longer allow myself to be defined by the words of others, but rather by my own. Never will I be the type of person who is always looking for approval from others. I’ll simply look for it and look for it inside of me. Because in the end, what I believe of myself is what really matters.

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. sicetnon3 says:

    Ultimately true. I use the opinion of who I define as wise/loving people to point out areas I might not have looked yet within myself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. GS says:

      I thought the whole point was to not categories humans into wise/unwise etc

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Sicetnon3 says:

        Yes! The point made in your post is to not let other’s opinions to define you. I use “my” opinion of them to define me. Maybe I never tell them what I think of them “inside”. Anyways, good insight (but don’t let my opinion go to your head) 😂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:

        Amber, where are you? When are we having a chat?


  2. Lori says:

    Excellent, Garima. We get opinions from others starting from when we’re babies. I recall my brother and his wife telling us what their babies personalities were like before they could even walk. They assigned certain attributes to each of their three sons. I think that happens in most families. Happened to me, too. By the time we’re adults, we’re likely seeing ourselves through our parents eyes and not our own. By then, it’s difficult to get a clear picture of who we are, and we may even be acting out the things we were told we were. It helped me when I moved away from home to see the truth without the constant reminders of who my family thought I was. I think we have to go on a journey of discovery when we become adults in order to form our own opinions of ourselves.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Rochdalestu says:

    I was trying to word what I was trying to say but I’m struggling to do so at times at the moment (Bipolar is going to get the blame), then I remembered that I posted this and if you wanted to have a read, then the relevant section is about half way down and sandwiched between me being hypocritical about writing a blog and keeping my opinions to myself and then we all can’t have original thoughts as we base our thoughts on language and constructs established by others, which I was copying Alan Watts 🤣😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Thank you for sharing

      Liked by 1 person

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