Whether it is a blessing or a curse, I am not sure yet.

Most likely, if you’re reading this, you’re a wonderful person who goes above and beyond to help others feel safe and at ease. And that’s a tremendous, priceless strength. You genuinely care about people enough to put them before yourself and ensure their comfort. But I’ll also explain why it can potentially be a major weakness. Two types of people are drawn to you once they discover that you will go above and beyond to do all you can for them out of the goodness of your heart:
- Those that notice this admirable quality value you and return the favour.
- People who realise they can treat you anyway they choose since you will go above and above for them.
How then do we tell the two apart? who is more likely to test us those with sincere good intentions or those looking to use us to the fullest? Pay attention is the basic solution.
It won’t be difficult to determine if someone is trying to take advantage of your generosity and compassion. They will make requests but not give the same effort in return. When you answer no, they will get upset with you or try to persuade you that your boundaries are excessive (think: you’re being unreasonable). Since this is how they keep their hold on control over you, they will do whatever it takes to make you feel guilty about your demands. For highly empathetic people, it’s common to let our compassion for the other person prevent us from standing up for ourselves or expressing our preferences. But we must keep in mind that setting clear limits with those who disregard them is acceptable and expected. When something feels wrong, we must act as our own defenders and stand up for what is right.
It’s not cruel to be our own best advocates, and being selfish in our wants doesn’t make us horrible people. We are free to be open and truthful about what violates our personal boundaries and causes us discomfort. And not everyone merits our consideration. Everyone is not deserving of our regard. We give the other person licence to take advantage of us if we don’t stand up for ourselves. Empathy is an important quality that will help you succeed. But failing to recognise when someone is being kind vs when they are taking advantage of you will also be a major setback.
“Resilience” is now PUBLISHED!!!! Knowing yourself, your thought patterns, emotional reactions, and go-to behaviours, is the foundation of good mental and emotional health. This book will teach you when to step back, take a break, and make a change. It will share suggestions on how to let go of the old, unhelpful assumptions and take the leap. Any purchases or KDP reads will be greatly appreciated. If you like my books, do leave a review. Here’s my author page on Amazon – https://a.co/d/5Rr2D4n

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