Fear The Fear Itself


When one has only one thing to fear: fear itself.

She claimed that the only thing to fear is fear. I mentioned that I couldn’t feel my hands and that I hadn’t found my keys yet. I tried to grab the stars out of the sky since I couldn’t figure out how they were following me. Why does everything seem so unclear to me? Do my emotions drown the whisky, or does the whisky drown my emotions? The turbulence never stops, even after the bottle eventually runs dry. Similar to how my heart continues to beat or how every blade of grass stands up every second of every day.

In my bed of lies, I suffocate my ears but not my lungs. Pillows and blankets piled on top of me block out the noise of the outside world till I disappear into thin air. My entire identity has been tarnished. Those fingerprints have always been difficult for me to remove. I dye my hair, scrub my skin until it burns, and let needles paint my body’s canvas. My bones, however, have not changed. My heart continues to race, and my muscles continue to twitch. I’m still that little kid figuring out how to get by. I detest people telling me to be myself because of this. I am a glass-bodied being. My emotions dominate me.

When I’m hateful, that’s all I am. From my hands to my feet, my blood travels in hate-filled vessels. I am these emotions, and I am these emotions. When I am angry, I am angry at everything. I detest both myself and you. The intended outcome irritates me. I detest the area of my wardrobe that I can’t access. I detest both my motivational lapses and my pores. I detest the sensation of hatred the most though. I exhale fire towards my adversaries, who were formerly my pals. My throat was squeezed by the hand. Even though you can’t see it, it exists.

And the pulsing in my mind as my brain struggles to break free of its restraints, or the way my muscles tense up as they prepare for collision. preparing to cry since it’s inevitable. Since the shaking eventually turns into sobbing, I can assure you that I am not depressed. Hate is all I am. Fortunately, it only lasts until the next one swoops in and eats me whole. Maybe until I look at the image that’s on my phone’s lock screen. That image always brings a smile to my face. I am love right now.

Everything I love when I’m in love. Both you and I are loved by me. I’m happy with how my life has developed. I adore my home because it contains all of my necessities. Even though they are a part of me, I appreciate my brittle nails and blonde hair. I cherish the sensation of love the most though. my heart and soul’s warmth and kindness. Although you can’t see it, it exists. And the surge of joy that sends my blood racing while I’m floating, or how a large smile can make my cheeks hurt. without thinking about what might come next, grinning. Laughing because the world is filled with goodness.

Laughing because love is who I am. That smile will eventually fade, the love will pass away, and a new emotion will take up residence in the shell that is me. She claimed that the only thing to fear is fear itself, and I believe I now understand what she meant.

Listen, I know it’s terrifying, unpleasant, and extremely distressing right now, but you’ll be OK. This is something you must do for yourself. You must go beyond what is known and strive to believe that you will be fine no matter what. Even if things don’t work out. Even if you don’t find what you’re looking for, it’s still a good thing to show that you tried. It is with this thought I introduce my new book “Acceptance”. Hope we find the courage to accept what is. https://a.co/d/jli7oHN


5 Comments Add yours

  1. sicetnon3 says:

    Thank you. Your post gives a new perspective on the phenomenon of possession, the “I am….” Self-identity.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Quick thought though, don’t you think “I Am” is making people more egocentric. I mean it’s meant to have an opposite effect.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. sicetnon3 says:

        Yes, if it is attached to an identity ( like I Am angry; I am sad; I am lonely…”. “I Am” is perhaps being itself with no qualifiers.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. GS says:



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