Our Controlling Nature


Finding freedom via letting go of the need for control

Everybody naturally wants to be in charge. It’s a method of feeling secure and protected in a dangerous world. However, sometimes our need for control backfires, leading to stress, anxiety, and resentment. It’s not all bad news, either. There are advantages to giving up control, and, would you believe it, there are some suggestions and methods for doing so in various spheres of our existence.

Being Aware of Our Need for Control

Our need for control is frequently a reaction to unpredictability and dread. We desire the ability to forecast and shape the course of events so that we can experience stability and security. No matter how hard we try (and believe me, I have tried), we can’t control everything. Additionally, we may experience increased frustration and overwhelm the more we attempt to control things that are out of our control. In actuality, attempting to maintain control over everything might resemble herding cats. I’ll pray for you and wish you success with it.

How to Release Control

So how do we find freedom rather than clinging to our need for control? Here are some pointers and tactics to think about:

  1. Develop mindfulness: Being mindful can assist us in letting go of our desire to control the future. We can let go of our connection to results by concentrating on the things we can control right now, such our thoughts and deeds. Additionally, mindfulness can teach us to appreciate the little things in life, such as the taste of hot coffee, the warmth of the sun on our skin, or the plot of our favourite television programme. (Yes, I am aware that you are scrolling while viewing—quit it!)
  2. Establish clear limits. We can feel more in control of our life if we establish clear boundaries for both ourselves and others. This may entail declining inappropriate requests, establishing time and energy restrictions, and taking breaks as needed. Consider it a method to proclaim to the world, “Hey, I’m not a doormat! Can’t we today, please.
  3. Seek assistance: Having a network of friends, family, or experts to turn to when we’re feeling overwhelmed can be useful. Letting rid of the pressure of trying to manage everything on our own can be made easier by talking about our challenges and obtaining advice and support. Who knows, maybe you’ll even meet a few new people along the way. (Like real, in-person buddies. Don’t even get me started on how difficult it is to find human, adult pals in this day and age.)

Losing Control in Various Areas of Life

After going over some general techniques for relinquishing control, let’s look at how to use them in various contexts:

  1. Partnerships: It’s critical to understand that we cannot influence the ideas, feelings, or actions of people in partnerships. We can develop stronger, more genuine bonds with our friends and partners if we let go of the impulse to control them. Additionally, being with someone who is uniquely themselves is much more enjoyable than being with a carbon copy of ourselves. (For instance, someone who, when asked, knows what they want to eat. “I don’t know, what do you feel like?” is neither an appropriate response nor a useful response.
  2. Work: It’s normal to desire to be in charge of our tasks and obligations at work. We have no control over anything that occurs at work, though. We may improve our ability to adapt and be more resilient in the face of change by letting go of the need to control every part of our work. Who knows, you might even shock yourself by taking on fresh difficulties and developing innovative answers. (I struggled with this for a long time. I later discovered that splitting up the work can result in less effort, less stress, and more free time.)
  3. Personal development: Giving up control can also be good for our personal development. We can be receptive to fresh experiences and chances for personal development by letting go of our need to be in total control of every area of our lives. Additionally, taking chances and trying new things are much more enjoyable than constantly playing it safe. Let’s try that since every superhero does it in every movie and everything seems to work out okay.

In conclusion, relinquishing power can be difficult but ultimately beneficial. We can discover more freedom, adaptability, and resilience by letting go of our need to be in complete control of everything in our life. In addition, we might even have a little fun while travelling. Consider looking for more information or assistance if you’re curious about the advantages of letting go of control. Who knows, you might learn something about yourself that you didn’t know before—hopefully that you’re a superhero.

Let it go, in the words of the movie Frozen.

Remember, the most comfortable option isn’t usually the best option for you. Sometimes you have to get out of your comfort zone. Sometimes you have to take a chance on yourself, even if it’s terrifying and uncomfortable. Yes, you could lose something lovely by taking the riskier option, but you could also get something fantastic. It is with this thought I introduce my new book “Choices”. Let’s make some wise ones. Grab your copy here https://a.co/d/4EwN8TE


6 Comments Add yours

  1. Alton Costa says:

    Good one, I always say and it works wonders, let go and let God!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Yes go with the flow because life is happening to us and not the other way round 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Rochdalestu says:

    Great post as always 🙌 I’m at the Psychiatric Resource Centre tomorrow seeing my practitioner. I’m always in conversation with her about the fact that I should be concerned about the things I can control and not ignorant, but less concerned about what I can’t. No amount of anxiety makes any difference to the outcome of the situation. I think we should be content with what we have. If you strive for perfection, please explain what perfection is. Let the chips fall where they may. Let’s never be concerned about £500 shoes, another man’s name on our underwear, viagra, Botox is unnatural. We’re the children of an impoverished generation and the Great Depression we have is our own life. Raised by television to think we’ll be tv stars, rock stars or movie gods. And we are slowly waking up to the fact that we won’t. It’s making a very pissed of population of people

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Have a good visit.

      Perfection is what you believe it is. There are no right or wrong answers.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. tzvifievel says:

    I think that to “let go of our connection to results,” as you have written, is key for my own attempts at letting go of control. There is a difference between the effort and the outcome; I think it is important to still acknowledge the significance of the effort, despite the outcome, that may be out of our control, especially, in regard to others, or various external circumstances.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. GS says:

      Oh your message made me smile. Those are my favourite lines too. Please know that You are not failing if you are giving it your all. You are not failing if the outcomes you desire do not appear immediately away. Even if judgements you make now have a negative impact on your future, everything will be fine in the end. Choose truth above fear. Choose to go out on your own, knowing that someone will be there to help you if you need it. Choose yourself before anyone else. Stay blessed 🤍🤍

      Liked by 1 person

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