Having your own full, fabulous life is an important part of being in a healthy relationship. If you have your own interests, hobbies, and friends, you should be too busy to be texting or waiting to hear from them all day. Do you want to be with someone who spends their entire day texting you? I sincerely hope not. If you start getting anxious after a few hours have passed and you haven’t heard from them, or even if it’s only been an hour, you should rethink your life. You’re either extremely insecure with little to no self-esteem, desperately clinging to outside validation from your partner (or anyone else) that you’re still a good, lovable, worthy person, or you don’t trust your partner.
Did they do anything to earn your distrust, or are you just insecure and paranoid? Except for an underage child, no one should be required to report their whereabouts to their parent. If you texted them about your plans and they haven’t responded… Perhaps they’re preoccupied. They were in the middle of something, on a call, working, showering, and accidentally left their phone in the car or another room. If you truly require an answer, contact them. These handheld computers are, in fact, phones. Email them, or call them on a different line. “I know they’re not doing any of that!” Their phone isn’t dead, they didn’t ‘not hear it,’ and they’re ignoring me!”
Then you should stop dating them. Alternatively, take up a hobby. Pay closer attention to how they treat you in person. Are they on social media and not responding to your texts? First and foremost, stop stalking them online. Second, perhaps they’re preoccupied with something unimportant before engaging in a conversation with you.
That’s exactly what I was doing instead of texting my then-boyfriend back, and when he asked why I wasn’t texting him back, I explained why.
If you only texted, “How’s your morning?” or “Did you eat lunch?” and you haven’t received a response… Do you happen to be their mother? Stop following up on them. What isn’t seductive? Pretending to be someone’s mother. Also, don’t take it personally if they don’t respond right away. Yes, asking someone how their day is going is thoughtful, but this is not a critical text that requires a response. Relax and get back to living your fantastic life.
ALSO: there are people who will text you all day just to keep your attention on them. If they think you’re texting or calling someone else, they’ll text or call you to interrupt you and make sure your attention is on them instead. So, what appear to be cute texts and phone calls about nothing at first may turn out to be an insidious way to control you.
Do you respond quickly to their texts, but they take their time responding to yours? Do you drop everything to answer their calls, but they refuse to answer yours? Keep an eye out for people who use communication to exert control and isolate themselves.
Also, stop attempting to have meaningful conversations through text. I understand that some people are afraid of phones, but you should not be afraid to talk to your significant other or someone you’re dating. Call and speak with each other, or wait until you see each other in person.
Tone is lost in writing, lines are crossed, and misunderstandings can occur. It’s one thing to send each other cute shit, but save serious conversations for phone calls or in-person meetings. If you’re just texting “Hey” and are upset because you don’t get an immediate response, you should think about why you need that so badly. They are not rude; you are needy, clingy, and desperate.
Why are you putting your worth in the hands of others? You’re telling them, “My worth is determined by your interaction with me!” You shouldn’t be sick with worry because you haven’t received a text. You should be too preoccupied to notice. These are communication tools. Don’t let them have control over you. They work for YOU. You should love yourself more. I’d like to receive cute, funny, sweet, random texts, memes, and phone calls throughout the day. If I don’t respond right away, it’s because I’m in the middle of something.
If I don’t get a response right away, or at all, I assume they’re living their full and exciting life, will respond when they can, and/or understood the point of my hilariously crafted text/meme. If I haven’t heard from them in a while, I don’t start doubting their interest in me.
Texting should be used as a tool, not as a gauge of your partner’s love, devotion, or interest. Your friendship, love, and emotional connection, not the frequency or speed with which you text each other, are your barometers for a healthy relationship.
Hi, I’m Garima and I write about life experiences. I have several books available on Amazon. Check them out today! Any purchases or KDP reads will be greatly appreciated. If you like my books, do leave a review. Here’s my author page on Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0BQDZXYNV
3 Comments Add yours
But I have a different experience with texting.
Texting helped me improve English composition (basically the gossipy-writing style).
But having said that, I must also confess it was six years ago when I was totally jobless and in std XIth.
For people with a job and busy life, texting may be a drain.
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Now I know what my problem is…
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