Do you notice them looking at you as you walk down the street? Do they want you? Are you needed? Do they listen to everything you say? Do they frequently touch your arm and can’t take their eyes off you? Is there a twinkle in their eye? Are they always looking at your lips? Do they appear to swallow the words “take me”? No?… So, shall we make a change? We’ve all met these people they’re magnetic. They leave, and there is a crowd around them. Or people crave their company, their touch. They attract everyone they want with little effort on their part.
They simply exist, and you want to be in their presence, breathing them in, while hoping that one day someone will feel the same way about you. You desire them and aspire to be them. Simultaneously. Whatever your gender or sexual orientation.
How do they manage it? Are they enchanted? They’re just people who discovered what works and what doesn’t through trial and error. They did the legwork so you wouldn’t have to. Do they have any well-kept secrets that no one else does?
Yes! And you will, too, beginning today.
The secrets are as follows: Consider a future in which you are similar to them. Put yourself in their shoes, visualise your natural magnetism, and observe yourself doing the following:
- You have a personal life, dreams, passions, and interests. Own it, whatever you do or who you are. You are not, after all, Elon Musk. You are not interested in launching rocket ships to Mars. But because it’s your life, it’s just as good. What exactly do you do? Are you a software developer? When you see code, your heart starts racing. What is your pastime? On a frozen lake, playing with rubber ducks? I can already see your smile when Betty slides faster than Daisy! You’re preoccupied with your own life. You’re present and alive for those ducks! You don’t spend every waking moment sobbing over some impossible victory. You go out with your friends and have a good time. In the park, you read books. You ask someone out and are turned down, so you go read another chapter that makes you laugh out loud. You’re not preoccupied with someone. You like them, but don’t waste your time showering them with compliments, writing poems about how wonderful they are, and slipping letters under their door. Respect their request. Some people dislike you, which is fine. Others will do so. Why would you want those who don’t in the first place? Improve your own life. Love yourself first, then love others. Also, stop texting while inebriated.
- You are self-sufficient but not evasive. Being self-sufficient is the first step towards detachment. When you reach a healthy level of it, people will flock to you like pigs to the feeding trough. Because they are inherently needy, and no one wants to be around someone who is not. They are hoping that their self-assurance and confidence will rub off on them.
When you’re comfortable with yourself, with your choices and your daily life, you emit a beacon that everyone will be drawn to. The truth is that you don’t require a single person. If you do, you’re doing it incorrectly. The truth is that you don’t require a single person. If you do, you’re doing it incorrectly. You do, however, require relationships in your life. Whether you like it or not, you are a social animal. If you’ve reached the point where you don’t need anyone, that’s a level of avoidance that turns people off. You don’t want to be there. Maintain a healthy balance and participate in society. People are drawn to other people, not monks or foreigners. Keep it sane, and they will come.
- You manage your own emotions. People use others to control their emotions. This is acceptable if you are in a long-term relationship and do it for each other. However, we usually lack self-control and are desperate for a partner to make us feel warm and cosy. Desperation will get you nowhere. Oh, right, it does. It makes you feel even more desperate because no one wants that kind of energy around them. Relax, go to therapy, and figure out what’s missing in your life. Is it due to a chemical imbalance? Is it trauma that needs to be addressed? A skilled therapist is essential to your success.
Are you upset? Go participate in some contact sports. Break a few plates. Make an angry painting. Don’t look desperately for someone to vent to. People can detect desperation from a long distance! Stop and reconsider. You must resolve the situation so that you do not end up giving your luggage to someone else to carry. That is not something anyone wants.
Everything else becomes easier once your inner life is in order. Some people fake it until they make it, which is fine.
So long as you’re looking for ways to make it real in the long run rather than just faking it in the short run. Get happy, magnetic, and involved in your life. I guarantee it will be worthwhile.
Hi, I’m Garima and I write about life experiences. I have several books available on Amazon. Check them out today! Any purchases or KDP reads will be greatly appreciated. If you like my books, do leave a review. Here’s my author page on Amazon – https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0BQDZXYNV