I’m Done With People Pleasing
You must quit satisfying others and ask yourself what you truly desire. That is not what you should do. Not what is most convenient. Not which method is the quickest. It’s not going to be easy. Not what looks good on paper. Not what others anticipate from you. Not what people expect of you. Not what will make you appear good on social media. Not the kind of thing that would make the tiniest ripples. Not what would be the most secure or intelligent. When you peel away everything else, when you stop caring about how you’ll appear to others or how difficult your life will be in the long run, ask yourself what you want. Ask yourself what you would do if no one was seeing, if no one was criticising, if you were truly making decisions for yourself and only you.
Stepping onto the diving board and trudging to the end is more terrifying than the actual splash into the sea. You’ll feel most out of your depth in the moments leading up to the leap, but once you get your momentum going, you’ll be fine. When the time comes, you’ll be surprised at how capable and resilient you are. But first, you need a push, the confidence to close your eyes and walk away. This will be the most difficult phase of the entire procedure. The remainder will be difficult, but it will be doable. You only need to take the first step. You must leap from the board.
The next time you’re concerned about how much you’ve lost, gaze to the sea. A starfish can regrow no matter how badly it is damaged. They can create a complete new body from a single arm, and you can do the same. You can sever your universe, destroy all you thought you understood about yourself, and remove the people you believed would be there forever and yet flourish. The missing bits you’ve shed will make way for new ones to grow. Remember that you will not feel the weight of your losses indefinitely. You will adjust to your new surroundings. Develop into your new self. You look like a starfish. Loss will only create way for fresh growth.
Research has revealed that we are bad at anticipating our emotional reactions. We are continuously overestimating the amount of suffering we will experience in any given situation, assuming the worst-case scenario rather than anticipating what would happen if our plans went as planned. This implies that no matter how horrible you think stepping away from your present circumstance would be, it’s usually not as bad as you’ve imagined. You’ll fare better than you expect in terms of weathering the aftermath. That is not to say it will be easy, but it will be bearable. Survivable. There’s a good possibility you’re in more agony right now, considering what move to make and determining the best time to make it, than you will when it’s all said and done and you’re in the eye of the cyclone. So stop lying awake at night, looking at the ceiling, wondering what will happen if you do what you’ve been wanting to do for a long time and do it now. It may be less painful to live it than to play out the scenarios night after night after night.
“Find Your Voice” is a collection of over 100 heart warming poems that will leave you feeling inspired and motivated. This book is filled with beautiful and encouraging poems that remind you that you can always find your voice in this world. Each poem is carefully crafted to provide comfort and hope in times of darkness and doubt. When you need a reminder of the light within you, pick up a copy of the book today.” https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C4BCVJ3C
5 Comments Add yours
For me it is important to be aware of when I am being possessed by future thoughts/feelings or past thoughts/feelings. Both can empower the ego and perpetuate separation. Still, that is my perspective. Yours is equally valid. Without yours the truth collapses.
LikeLiked by 1 person
As always I like and appreciate your perspective. You are right
As social creatures, we have an innate desire to be loved and liked. At some point you realise that you are not going to be liked or loved by everybody on this planet or in the universe. You are somewhat intrigued by this and why it is so? You can spend countless moments pondering yourself and your own like-ability. Learn how to accept this will help you learn more about yourself.
You have people who you have admiration for and your desire for friendship is acutely based upon the admiration you have. You can lose your authenticity in favour of pleasing people. Chasing the gratification of others and losing yourself is similar to the “Backwards Law”. For example; if you try to float on the water, you will sink. Just as if you attempt to sink, you will float. Holding your breath is to lose your breath. The harder you try to please and then become further away from yourself and your reality means you can’t form genuine relationships with people.
So, how can I be sincere when I am constantly changing my mind and my actions to fit in with the shadow of what I think others expect of me? Where there is to be creative action, it is quite beside the point to discuss what we should or should not do in order to be right or good. A mind that is single and sincere is not interested in being good, in conducting relations with other people so as to live up to a rule. Nor, on the other hand, is it interested in being free, in acting perversely just to prove its independence. Its interest is not in itself, but in the people and problems of which it is aware; these are ‘itself.’ It acts, not according to the rules, but according to the circumstances of the moment, and the ‘well’ it wishes to others is not security but liberty.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s extensive. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
In failing to be direct and transparent and honest, we fail to live in the world as it actually is. When we depend on indirect communication, we never actually get you and we never actually get them. It is hard to thrive in a fictitious world and if we keep just one of us from thriving, we will all suffer the consequences. Being transparent and direct will build a better world.
LikeLiked by 1 person