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From Cookies to Cell Phones—Let’s Talk About the Urges We Pretend Not to Have

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Let me start with something small.

There’s one chocolate chip cookie left in the container. You already had two. You’re not hungry. You even told yourself you were “cutting back.” But now that last cookie is calling your name like it pays rent in your head.

You try to focus on your emails. You sip water. You scroll your phone.

But the cookie is still there.

And five minutes later? It’s gone.

That moment right there—that tug-of-war between intention and impulse—is something we don’t talk about enough. We think addiction is the guy passed out on the sidewalk or the person whose life has completely fallen apart. We whisper about alcoholism, drug abuse, or gambling problems like they belong to a different species of human.

But what if addiction isn’t just “out there”?

What if it’s in here—with us—quiet, subtle, and wearing a much nicer outfit?

The Age of Everyday Addiction

We live in a world of constant stimulation. Sugar. Streaming. Social media. Work. Fitness. Shopping. News alerts. Productivity hacks.

It’s never been easier to soothe discomfort instantly.

I once watched a group of teenagers at a pool party sit silently next to each other—texting. Not strangers. Friends. Same table. Same fries. Different screens.

And I’ve been that adult at dinner who reaches for the phone the second it buzzes. I’ve refreshed email like it was a slot machine. I’ve told myself, “Just one more episode,” knowing full well tomorrow morning would be rough.

Sound familiar?

That’s because addiction isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it’s socially approved.

In fact, some addictions get applause.

Working nonstop? Ambitious.

Exercising twice a day? Disciplined.

Always “grinding”? Impressive.

But here’s the question that changed how I look at all of it:

Can you stop?

Not forever. Just for a little while.

If the thought of taking a break makes you anxious, irritable, or uncomfortable, that’s worth noticing.

Addiction Is Energy, Not Evil

We’ve been told addiction is either a genetic disease or a moral failure. But what if it’s neither?

What if addiction is just energy—raw, restless energy—looking for relief?

It starts as a feeling. A tension. A longing. Then comes the thought: This will make me feel better. And then the action. Eat it. Buy it. Check it. Drink it. Scroll it. Text them.

Relief.

But it’s temporary.

And the cycle begins again.

I’ve seen this pattern in people struggling with alcohol, food, porn, work, and even anger. The substance changes. The energy doesn’t.

The mind obsesses. The body acts. The relief fades.

Repeat.

The Trauma We Don’t Talk About

Here’s something we don’t say enough in conversations about addiction:

There’s often pain underneath it.

Not always dramatic pain. Not always obvious trauma. Sometimes it’s subtle.

A child who felt overlooked.

A teenager who never felt good enough.

An adult who quietly believes they’re only valuable when they achieve something.

Those beliefs don’t disappear. They go underground. And addiction becomes a coping strategy.

There is a strong link between addiction and unresolved emotional pain.

When we feel unworthy, lonely, ashamed, or anxious, we look for something—anything—to soften the edge.

Sometimes it’s sugar. Sometimes it’s validation. Sometimes it’s a perfectly smooth forehead.

The Botox, the Gym, and the Self-Worth Trap

Let’s talk about something many people won’t admit.

We’re obsessed with looking younger.

A small wrinkle appears and suddenly it’s the only thing you see in the mirror. You research solutions. You schedule the appointment. The wrinkle fades.

Relief.

Three months later? You’re back.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good. But when your confidence depends entirely on a procedure, a product, or a filter, that’s worth reflecting on.

The same goes for the gym.

Exercise is healthy. Movement is powerful. But if missing one workout ruins your entire day, or your sense of identity collapses without it, that’s not strength—that’s dependence.

The line between healthy habit and addiction is thinner than we like to admit.

The Phone in Your Pocket

Let’s be honest about the biggest addiction of our time: technology.

I’ve seen people nearly walk into traffic because they were reading a notification. I’ve seen couples at restaurants scrolling instead of talking. I’ve caught myself checking a message I just answered five minutes ago.

That little buzz? It lights up the brain’s reward system like a Christmas tree.

It’s not an accident. These apps are designed to keep us hooked.

If you’ve ever tried to cut back on screen time and felt restless or strangely empty, you’ve felt the energy of addiction.

One thing that helped me personally was putting physical space between myself and my phone at night. A simple bedside charging station like the Anker Wireless Charging Station keeps devices off my pillow and out of my hands. It sounds small, but small boundaries create big awareness.

And awareness is where change begins.

So What Do We Do?

Here’s the part most people don’t expect:

You don’t fight addiction with shame.

You don’t bully yourself into healing.

You don’t pretend it’s not there.

You acknowledge it.

You get curious.

Instead of saying, “What’s wrong with me?” try asking, “What am I trying to soothe?”

When I feel the urge to stress-eat at night, I’ve learned to pause. Sometimes I still eat the snack—but now I notice the feeling underneath. Boredom. Loneliness. Overwhelm.

That pause changes everything.

If food is your go-to comfort, something simple like using smaller portion containers—like these Prep Naturals Glass Meal Prep Containers—can create a built-in pause between urge and action. It’s not about restriction. It’s about awareness.

And if late-night scrolling is your escape, setting a 30-minute timer with something old-school like a Time Timer Visual Timer can help you see how quickly “just a few minutes” turns into an hour.

These tools aren’t cures.

They’re conversation starters—with yourself.

The Radical Idea: Befriend It

Here’s the most counterintuitive truth I’ve learned:

The parts of ourselves we hate the most are the parts that need compassion the most.

Addiction thrives in secrecy and shame. It softens in kindness and attention.

Imagine naming your addiction. Giving it a personality. Sitting across from it at a coffee shop and saying, “What are you trying to protect me from?”

It sounds strange. But when you approach yourself with curiosity instead of judgment, something shifts.

Healing doesn’t start with punishment.

It starts with honesty.

Let’s Keep This Conversation Going

If this resonated with you—even a little—I’d love to keep exploring these topics together.

I recently launched a newsletter where I write about addiction, emotional health, everyday habits, trauma, and the subtle ways we sabotage ourselves without realizing it. It’s not preachy. It’s not dramatic. It’s just real conversations about being human in a world that constantly pulls at our impulses.

If you’re interested in understanding your patterns without shame—and building healthier ones without extremes—you can join us there. I share practical tools, research-backed insights, and reflections you won’t find on social media.

Because this isn’t about labeling ourselves as broken.

It’s about recognizing that we all have urges. We all have coping mechanisms. We all have parts of ourselves that want relief.

Addiction isn’t a rare defect.

It’s a human experience.

The real question isn’t, “Am I addicted to something?”

The real question is:

What am I using to avoid feeling something else?

I’m curious—what’s the “last cookie” in your life right now?

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